I’ve been contemplating the realities of life lately, after hearing stories from a number of my friends about not reaching their goals. What happens when you’ve envisioned your goals, set them, planned the steps to them, taken the steps, remained positive, and still not reached your goals?
My first response is to revisit the process: Is the vision detailed? Anchored through the senses? Can you really feel the accomplishment when you imagine it? Have you held that vision with you during the process, revisiting it over and over? Were there steps that you skipped? Was your positive attitude surface only, or were you committed to it?
These are not questions to make anyone “wrong” but a review similar to what is done in any business to learn where to improve, where to tweak the process, where to redirect energy.
Other questions arise: Is this the goal you really want---or one you think you should want? Is there another path to take to reach it?
Can you still work toward the goal? Is it the timing you set for yourself what you’ve failed at? If so, readjust your calendar. Find alternate steps to take. Perhaps there’s a skill you need to learn, new people to meet, someone you need to hire to help you along the way.
If you’ve decided to abandon this particular goal, there are some steps I recommend while doing so. (1) Take a good look at how much you’ve accomplished and learned along the way. (2) What other goals did you accomplish to get as far as you have? (3) How does the process you’ve been through apply to your future?
I truly believe that every honest endeavor we undertake has value. Perhaps gleaning the value from what we term “failure” is the real treasure.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Have there been times when you did not reach the goals you set for yourself? What did you do? What have you learned from the process. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic!
--Batya
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2 comments:
I think there are people (okay, me) who hesitate to even set goals because they are afraid of failing to meet them. So instead of being goal-oriented, we just sorta float along and sigh and say "oh well".
Cathryn,
I used to do that. Still do to an extent but I have a goal that is finally getting to come to full fruition. I envisioned the stories I'm writing a couple of years ago after placing second in a small fan contest and then having an editor advise me as to how to take the story and make it either a series or a more in-depth novel. The advice she gave me was wonderful. I wasn't ready in 2005 to really embark on the adventure of writing a 50-book series. Last year, an opportunity came up that got me thinking about the series again (not that I had stopped thinking of writing it or completely forgotten about it - I'd tinkered with several combinations and possibilities over two years' time). Although that didn't work out quite like I had envisioned it, in the long run, it was worth putting some time into project to let me know where I needed the stories to be.
In that process, I actually started visualizing having the whole series published.
I admit I've not planned on paper, I've not put my goals in writing, nore have I set the steps that others probably will chastise me about, but I have now reached the goal of having my children's, 50-state mystery trivia series published. I may have taken the back road to get here but I am here.
I think that with anything we do in life - long-term or short-term, goal setting and achieving are vital - you need them to fill a missing piece in your life.
Failure is only a learning tool - if you fail, you look back and recheck and redo and retry to know exactly which step isn't working. You fix the problem or delete it from the plan and move on.
There is another friend of mine who recently posted on his blog about keep moving forward. It was a very interesting post. (http://no-bull-steve.livejournal.com/ - his latest entry from June 29) - it kind of compliments this posting. Go ahead and read it and see how these thoughts fit each other rather nicely.
Set small goals, work up to the larger ones. Find something that works for you and go for it - E :)
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Elysabeth Eldering
http://jgdsseries.blogspot.com
http://elysabethsstories.blogspot.com
Coming soon, STATE OF WILDERNESS, book 1 of the Junior Geography Detective Squad, 50-state mystery trivia series
A bit of mystery, trivia, geography and history all wrapped up into fun.
Where will the adventure take you next?
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