First, let me apologize for not posting this yesterday (Monday). Hopefully, it’ll be the exception to the self-imposed rule.
Second, let me assure you this blog is not about death, but about rejection, about small failures.
Yesterday I learned that a short story I’d submitted to an Internet writing contest hadn’t won. It wasn’t an important contest to me, and I didn’t think I had much chance right from the start. But when I learned the story had lost, like many other times my writing has been rejected, I felt a letdown. Someone had put a pin in my balloon of hope.
The stoics among us---even my Inner Stoic---says, “The best thing to do is turn around and send it out somewhere else.” Which I fully intend to do, but not right away.
The words “my story lost” uses the same word as “I lost my grandmother X years ago.” However we explain the difference to ourselves, the word is the same and our minds hear it in a similarly way. Just as I took the time to mourn the “loss” of my grandmother, I think it’s important to take some time to mourn the loss of our works “losing” a contest, a judging for inclusion in an exhibit, the loss of a job opportunity we hoped for, the loss of an advertising account.
So how do we do it and move on? How do we get over it as quickly as possible so that we can send the story out again, or enter a photograph in a showing, or apply for the next job on our list?
Anyone reading this who knows me, can guess that I’m going to include the Right Brain in the process, as well as the Left.
I’ll share my process, and I hope all my readers will share theirs, also.
Rant and rave. (Right Brain) “Those stupid people! They don’t know good writing when they see it. Probably the dude’s brother won!” I allow this for about five minutes, no longer.
Calm myself down and remind myself about the contest specifics. (Left Brain) Often I realize in retrospect that maybe my story didn’t even fit their requirements. (In this particular case, although they said only a short reference of any kind to Australia or something Australian would suffice, all three winners wrote in Australian---which is a very different language than American, with references in every sentence, dialect, location, setting, etc.)
Next, I read the winning entries. (Left Brain) (I thought one was extremely well-written, although it was supposed to be a mystery and though it contained a crime, there was no mystery to it at all; the other two seemed to be different versions of the same story, written similarly, but bursting with Australianisms.)
Then I comfort myself with all that I’ve learned. (Right Brain)
I wait at least 24 hours, sometimes 48 hours, before revisiting my own story. Then I reread it, looking for ways to improve it---not for that contest but for its own sake. (Left and Right Brains working together)
Finally, it’s time to move on. Either send that story out again or put it aside and get to work on something else.
I’ve given myself time to vent, allowed my inner angst a little bit of space so it doesn’t have to take a whole lot when I’m not looking, I’ve learned something about contests (at least that one), read a good story, hopefully improved my own story, and moved on.
I’ll never know if my story wasn’t chosen because it wasn’t well-written, or because it didn’t have enough Australia in it. But now it doesn’t matter.
How do you deal with rejection and “loss” in your creative life? In striving for what you want even in the non-creative arenas?
---Batya
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Monday, March 24, 2008
Critiques---To Get or Not to Get, That is the Question
Allow me to start with a story, please.
As a writing major in undergraduate school I had two professors; I adored both of them--Matt and Milt. They both liked me, so no problem there. However, they disliked each other. Possible reasons for this are irrelevant to this post, so I'll spare you. After a while, I noticed a pattern with my writing and their critiques, and I decided to check it out.
At the time, poetry was my genre-of-choice, so I prepared the same 10 poems and gave each professor a copy. Since they really didn't talk to each other much, there was little chance of them figuring out my test.
I waited. I brewed. I chewed my fingernails. I walked in circles. I ate chocolate. Finally, the verdict came in and I received my critiques on the poems.
Matt liked five of the 10 poems. Milt liked the other five. Go figure.
But I learned a really important lesson early on in my writing career: a critique is valuable, but it isn't 'the final and only word' on the subject.
Although I'm addressing writing at present, the same goes for any feedback you might get---photography, dance, visual art, melodies, advertising copy, anything creative.
Creative output is subjective. The response to it is subjective. Every viewpoint is 'right'---which doesn't make yours 'wrong.'
The value of critique is to get feedback, not judgment. If Matt and Milt had both liked the same five poems---or even two of the same poems and trashed the rest---I'd have had some incredibly useful information. And two excellent poems.
When you have a number of people read (or look at) your work, and they agree on the same problem---then it's time to fix something. If they disagree, then take all the criticism back home, let it sit a few days, or at least hours, and approach your piece with a clear mind. See how the suggestions fit with your own feelings and vision of your work.
Don't change something just because another person tells you to---no matter who that person is. Not even your mother, though if yours is like mine, she's probably right!
YOU, and only you, are the final word on your creative work.
I belong to a number of critiquing groups. They are always helpful. But I don't make every change that everyone suggests. First of all, that's impossible, as people, like Matt and Milt, disagree. Secondly, because I don't agree with all of the suggestions. And, thirdly, I'm stubborn.
There's a scene in one of my murder mysteries that most of my readers dislike. It's in the middle of the book; I hadn't planned it; the characters did it even when I wanted them to stop; it's not pretty. But I'm not ready to take it out, mostly because it was so organic to the process of the story as it was being written. Will I let it kill a publishing deal? No way. When a potential publisher says, 'take the *&^in' scene out'---trust me, it will be in shreds on my office floor. But until then, it stays. Because I'm the writer---and I say so.
So, yes, go get critiqued. From people you respect. From people who do your same art and who are better than you are at it. From people who know your artform. From people with similar world-views and life-agendas.
Then take all the suggestions home. Put them aside. Take a bubble bath. Go dance. Have chocolate. And the next day, spread them all out across your desk and pick and choose the ones that make the best sense and feel right and make your work even more yours.
--Batya
As a writing major in undergraduate school I had two professors; I adored both of them--Matt and Milt. They both liked me, so no problem there. However, they disliked each other. Possible reasons for this are irrelevant to this post, so I'll spare you. After a while, I noticed a pattern with my writing and their critiques, and I decided to check it out.
At the time, poetry was my genre-of-choice, so I prepared the same 10 poems and gave each professor a copy. Since they really didn't talk to each other much, there was little chance of them figuring out my test.
I waited. I brewed. I chewed my fingernails. I walked in circles. I ate chocolate. Finally, the verdict came in and I received my critiques on the poems.
Matt liked five of the 10 poems. Milt liked the other five. Go figure.
But I learned a really important lesson early on in my writing career: a critique is valuable, but it isn't 'the final and only word' on the subject.
Although I'm addressing writing at present, the same goes for any feedback you might get---photography, dance, visual art, melodies, advertising copy, anything creative.
Creative output is subjective. The response to it is subjective. Every viewpoint is 'right'---which doesn't make yours 'wrong.'
The value of critique is to get feedback, not judgment. If Matt and Milt had both liked the same five poems---or even two of the same poems and trashed the rest---I'd have had some incredibly useful information. And two excellent poems.
When you have a number of people read (or look at) your work, and they agree on the same problem---then it's time to fix something. If they disagree, then take all the criticism back home, let it sit a few days, or at least hours, and approach your piece with a clear mind. See how the suggestions fit with your own feelings and vision of your work.
Don't change something just because another person tells you to---no matter who that person is. Not even your mother, though if yours is like mine, she's probably right!
YOU, and only you, are the final word on your creative work.
I belong to a number of critiquing groups. They are always helpful. But I don't make every change that everyone suggests. First of all, that's impossible, as people, like Matt and Milt, disagree. Secondly, because I don't agree with all of the suggestions. And, thirdly, I'm stubborn.
There's a scene in one of my murder mysteries that most of my readers dislike. It's in the middle of the book; I hadn't planned it; the characters did it even when I wanted them to stop; it's not pretty. But I'm not ready to take it out, mostly because it was so organic to the process of the story as it was being written. Will I let it kill a publishing deal? No way. When a potential publisher says, 'take the *&^in' scene out'---trust me, it will be in shreds on my office floor. But until then, it stays. Because I'm the writer---and I say so.
So, yes, go get critiqued. From people you respect. From people who do your same art and who are better than you are at it. From people who know your artform. From people with similar world-views and life-agendas.
Then take all the suggestions home. Put them aside. Take a bubble bath. Go dance. Have chocolate. And the next day, spread them all out across your desk and pick and choose the ones that make the best sense and feel right and make your work even more yours.
--Batya
Monday, March 17, 2008
Courage and Creativity, Part II
First, Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Let’s all do a jig in celebration. Let’s all write/dance/paint with leprechauns!
In my blog on 2/18, I raised the question, paraphrased here, What is courageous about creativity? It took me a while, but here’s my personal answer.
Creativity is the act of bringing something new forth from the materials/emotions/situations in which we live. The form might well be almost infinite, in a number of realms: language, movement, shape, color, taste, even odor (there’s a word I can’t think of this moment for perfume-makers).
The feeling of safety comes, most often, from familiarity and trust (trust building, also, from familiarity and consistency).
As creative people, we choose to move from moments of “safety,” of being in the known, the already experienced, into the unknown. Like the “Fool” in the Tarot deck, carrying the form of our creativity in our hobo-sacks, we step off the ledge of safety into the unknown. The “Fool” often represents new beginnings in a Tarot reading. It is safe to say, then, that there’s at least a bit of foolishness in the creative act.
It takes a lot of courage to play the Fool.
It takes a lot of courage to step into the unknown.
It takes a lot of courage to risk failure---and a lot of courage to risk success.
Taking on an even larger edge of the discussion…In the Western world in which we live, we come from traditions (Judaism, Islam, Christianity) in which the Deity has created the world, and the entire population of it. So ”creativity” is seen or experienced in a deep, learned level, as a God-act.
How much courage it takes to step into the realm of God-action!
Does that make us “gods”? No, I don’t think so. Does it make us more “godlike”? In a certain sense, yes.
I, personally, and absolutely, believe that creativity is a sacred act. No matter what we’re creating. (Yes, I believe there can be exceptions to this statement.)
And it takes a lot of courage to make sacred acts.
Sci-fi writers might understand this: creating whole new worlds, sometimes life-forms that didn’t exist until they put them on paper or screen. But they’re not the only ones. We all feel that sense of expanding, of our hearts opening as well as our minds as new ideas, shapes, motions, connections fill us as we create.
It takes courage to remain open to new possibilities. It takes even more courage to form those ideas and thoughts into a tangible art form---of any kind.
And so we risk---our selves, our sanity, our safety, our security---to walk the path of creativity. Without the risk, everything would stay exactly the same. No change. Stasis. Life requires change, growth. It’s part of the natural cycle. Those of us who are courageous enough to participate in the continuing creation of the world around us keep life happening. We are contributing to the future of life on the planet we live on just by being brave enough o create. We are courageous enough to keep the spark of change going, to keep the creation of the world moving forward.
Creativity is being courageous enough to open ourselves to possibility, to newness, to what-comes-next.
Even in its smallest forms of expression, creativity is a courageous act.
I’d love to read the thoughts of others on this (or other) topics about creativity. Please blog back!
--Batya
In my blog on 2/18, I raised the question, paraphrased here, What is courageous about creativity? It took me a while, but here’s my personal answer.
Creativity is the act of bringing something new forth from the materials/emotions/situations in which we live. The form might well be almost infinite, in a number of realms: language, movement, shape, color, taste, even odor (there’s a word I can’t think of this moment for perfume-makers).
The feeling of safety comes, most often, from familiarity and trust (trust building, also, from familiarity and consistency).
As creative people, we choose to move from moments of “safety,” of being in the known, the already experienced, into the unknown. Like the “Fool” in the Tarot deck, carrying the form of our creativity in our hobo-sacks, we step off the ledge of safety into the unknown. The “Fool” often represents new beginnings in a Tarot reading. It is safe to say, then, that there’s at least a bit of foolishness in the creative act.
It takes a lot of courage to play the Fool.
It takes a lot of courage to step into the unknown.
It takes a lot of courage to risk failure---and a lot of courage to risk success.
Taking on an even larger edge of the discussion…In the Western world in which we live, we come from traditions (Judaism, Islam, Christianity) in which the Deity has created the world, and the entire population of it. So ”creativity” is seen or experienced in a deep, learned level, as a God-act.
How much courage it takes to step into the realm of God-action!
Does that make us “gods”? No, I don’t think so. Does it make us more “godlike”? In a certain sense, yes.
I, personally, and absolutely, believe that creativity is a sacred act. No matter what we’re creating. (Yes, I believe there can be exceptions to this statement.)
And it takes a lot of courage to make sacred acts.
Sci-fi writers might understand this: creating whole new worlds, sometimes life-forms that didn’t exist until they put them on paper or screen. But they’re not the only ones. We all feel that sense of expanding, of our hearts opening as well as our minds as new ideas, shapes, motions, connections fill us as we create.
It takes courage to remain open to new possibilities. It takes even more courage to form those ideas and thoughts into a tangible art form---of any kind.
And so we risk---our selves, our sanity, our safety, our security---to walk the path of creativity. Without the risk, everything would stay exactly the same. No change. Stasis. Life requires change, growth. It’s part of the natural cycle. Those of us who are courageous enough to participate in the continuing creation of the world around us keep life happening. We are contributing to the future of life on the planet we live on just by being brave enough o create. We are courageous enough to keep the spark of change going, to keep the creation of the world moving forward.
Creativity is being courageous enough to open ourselves to possibility, to newness, to what-comes-next.
Even in its smallest forms of expression, creativity is a courageous act.
I’d love to read the thoughts of others on this (or other) topics about creativity. Please blog back!
--Batya
Monday, March 10, 2008
Will the Thrill
(First---thank you to Kindra, a new friend/colleague who visited me at the Health Fair yesterday. I really appreciated her being there.)
A writer on one of the forums I belong to opened a discussion today about losing the excitement of his novel when he worked on the research for it. This made me think about other conversations I’ve had with clients, friends, and, yes, even myself, about losing enthusiasm when it comes to the small daily steps of accomplishing our goals.
Looking at the end result of my vision…say, seeing my mystery series on the shelf at Borders, always fills me with excitement. I can close my eyes and visualize just where it will be. I can smell the crispness of the first printing, hear the just-perceptible crack of the spine as I open it to scratch my pen across the front page with my very first autograph. Ahhhhh…that feels so good! So real! So inspiring! (In fact, I’m tempted to end this blog here and start editing the book!)
It’s an empowering visualization---and we all have them for our goals (at least those of us who have stopped to work on and set our goals).
But when it comes to getting those big visions down to “It’s Monday morning and today I have to read a chapter in this really dry book on Victorian etiquette in rural Britain and I don’t want to,” we wonder where all that excitement went.
Sometimes the small, daily steps to the big, overall goal are left-brain, while the excitement and the visualization of the goal are right-brain. We get to Monday…or Tuesday…and need to accomplish the left-brain activity to achieve the right-brain exciting vision. And we’re totally at a lack for motivation, excitement, energy, empowerment…you name it. We want another cup of coffee. We suddenly remember the bathroom needs cleaning. There’s one more dust bunny behind the couch.
What went wrong?
What went wrong is that we left our right brain relishing in the exciting visualization and handed all the rest of getting-there to the left brain. The left brain doesn’t hold emotions. The left brain can’t get excited, even if it wants to.
The solution: get the right brain involved in the left-brain daily to-dos.
How? Connect back to your original visualization. Feel the excitement of success at the goal again! Refresh yourself with all the sensory connections you originally felt when choosing the goal.
Then use that excitement to empower the left brain to accomplish all those daily to-dos that will get you to the goal your right brain chose originally.
The hardest part of this process is to remember to do it. After a while, if you practice it regularly, reconnecting to that right-brain excitement will come naturally.
And the everyday to-do list will look like a page of check-marks!
Now…I’m off to edit a murder story! How about you?
--Batya
A writer on one of the forums I belong to opened a discussion today about losing the excitement of his novel when he worked on the research for it. This made me think about other conversations I’ve had with clients, friends, and, yes, even myself, about losing enthusiasm when it comes to the small daily steps of accomplishing our goals.
Looking at the end result of my vision…say, seeing my mystery series on the shelf at Borders, always fills me with excitement. I can close my eyes and visualize just where it will be. I can smell the crispness of the first printing, hear the just-perceptible crack of the spine as I open it to scratch my pen across the front page with my very first autograph. Ahhhhh…that feels so good! So real! So inspiring! (In fact, I’m tempted to end this blog here and start editing the book!)
It’s an empowering visualization---and we all have them for our goals (at least those of us who have stopped to work on and set our goals).
But when it comes to getting those big visions down to “It’s Monday morning and today I have to read a chapter in this really dry book on Victorian etiquette in rural Britain and I don’t want to,” we wonder where all that excitement went.
Sometimes the small, daily steps to the big, overall goal are left-brain, while the excitement and the visualization of the goal are right-brain. We get to Monday…or Tuesday…and need to accomplish the left-brain activity to achieve the right-brain exciting vision. And we’re totally at a lack for motivation, excitement, energy, empowerment…you name it. We want another cup of coffee. We suddenly remember the bathroom needs cleaning. There’s one more dust bunny behind the couch.
What went wrong?
What went wrong is that we left our right brain relishing in the exciting visualization and handed all the rest of getting-there to the left brain. The left brain doesn’t hold emotions. The left brain can’t get excited, even if it wants to.
The solution: get the right brain involved in the left-brain daily to-dos.
How? Connect back to your original visualization. Feel the excitement of success at the goal again! Refresh yourself with all the sensory connections you originally felt when choosing the goal.
Then use that excitement to empower the left brain to accomplish all those daily to-dos that will get you to the goal your right brain chose originally.
The hardest part of this process is to remember to do it. After a while, if you practice it regularly, reconnecting to that right-brain excitement will come naturally.
And the everyday to-do list will look like a page of check-marks!
Now…I’m off to edit a murder story! How about you?
--Batya
Monday, March 3, 2008
Celebrations and Goal Attainment
Health Fair
What are you doing Sunday, March 9, from 1-4 pm? (remember to change your clocks!) Stop by to say hello me at the Health Fair at the Jewish Community Center (off Hwy. 70S near the 70/100 split)---this is a big one and really will happen (barring tornado, tsunami, ice storm, or the landing of aliens from another galaxy). I’ll be handing out literature, calendars, and offering FREE seminars to three lucky raffle winners! Come on by and enter!
Map for JCC: http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?searchtype=address&country=US&addtohistory=&searchtab=home&formtype=address&popflag=0&latitude=&longitude=&name=&phone=&level=&cat=&address=801+Percy+Warner+Boulevard&city=Nashville&state=TN&zipcode=37205
Celebrations and Goal-Attainment
This week---Thursday, March 6---I celebrate my half birthday!
A half birthday? What’s that?
Years ago I noticed that the second half of my year was always better than the first half (it may have something to do with the beginning of spring, increased sunlight, crocuses and tulips in bloom), so I decided, hey, it’s my birthday---I can celebrate it however I want---in halves, quarters, whatever! And, there’s no law against it!
Celebration is a very important part of a healthy life. The world throws us enough muck along the way that we need to balance it out through celebrating. Our culture is particularly noncreative in celebrations: We have some fun fireworks on July 4, great decorations and store sales around Christmastime, some late-night revelries on New Year’s Eve, green beer on St. Patrick’s Day, parades on Memorial Day (if you’re lucky) and then you get to celebrate your birthday and anniversary. There are the one-time celebrations, also, such as graduation or a wedding. If you’re Jewish you get a Bar- or Bat-mitzvah, and Catholics have First Communions. Other than those paltry few, there’s not a whole lot of partying goin’ round.
What’s most important about celebrations is that they serve as acknowledgements, life markers. We’ve made it through another year of life…or marriage. We deserve an award! Look, we finally got through the grind of school! We’ve made it! We’ve reached some particular goal!
So many of us set our goals and then plod on and on toward them. We rarely stop to see how far we’ve come compared to where we were before. Maybe we’re afraid that the hobgoblins of the past…the anchors and cement-block slippers and bogeymen fears will rear their ugly heads and get in our way again. Maybe we’re just too busy moving forward to take a moment to look back.
I think the first step in setting and attaining goals is to take a good, long look at where we’ve already been---and then to stop and celebrate how far we’ve already come! To acknowledge ourselves for making it through all the trials and tribulations and stresses and obstacles we’ve encountered. And, most important, to congratulate ourselves for getting to today!
After all, how can you set a map to your future and plan the direction to take if you don’t know where you’re starting?
So take a few moments and lift the mirror. Take a long look at the road behind you. Pat yourself on the back! Shake your own hand! Have a chocolate bon-bon! Light a candle and make a wish! Do something that is celebratory to acknowledge your success in getting to today!
Just like in Alice-in-Wonderland---celebrate your Un-Birthday!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InSn2BLDwfQ http://www.nonsenselit.org/carroll/fc0341/
Step number two: Plan some celebrations on the way to your goals. When I get my first chapter written, I’m going to hold a tea party! When I reach five new clients, I’ll take myself to dinner! When I get my business loan, I’ll buy that beautiful desk lamp!
And for the ‘little’ steps, especially the hard ones---find a mini-celebration for yourself. Pat yourself on the head (when no one’s looking), shake your own hand, do a Happy Dance around your desk…whatever works for you.
These are all moments of self-acknowledgement, of positive feedback. Positive feedback is the single most motivating and inspirational force I know (well, second…the possibility of meeting Robert Redford is the first most motivating and inspirational force I know, personally).
And, by all means---celebrate your half-birthday!
What sorts of celebrations, large or small, do you do? What provides positive feedback that motivates and inspires you in continuing toward your goals? Please feel free to share your thoughts here!
--Batya
What are you doing Sunday, March 9, from 1-4 pm? (remember to change your clocks!) Stop by to say hello me at the Health Fair at the Jewish Community Center (off Hwy. 70S near the 70/100 split)---this is a big one and really will happen (barring tornado, tsunami, ice storm, or the landing of aliens from another galaxy). I’ll be handing out literature, calendars, and offering FREE seminars to three lucky raffle winners! Come on by and enter!
Map for JCC: http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?searchtype=address&country=US&addtohistory=&searchtab=home&formtype=address&popflag=0&latitude=&longitude=&name=&phone=&level=&cat=&address=801+Percy+Warner+Boulevard&city=Nashville&state=TN&zipcode=37205
Celebrations and Goal-Attainment
This week---Thursday, March 6---I celebrate my half birthday!
A half birthday? What’s that?
Years ago I noticed that the second half of my year was always better than the first half (it may have something to do with the beginning of spring, increased sunlight, crocuses and tulips in bloom), so I decided, hey, it’s my birthday---I can celebrate it however I want---in halves, quarters, whatever! And, there’s no law against it!
Celebration is a very important part of a healthy life. The world throws us enough muck along the way that we need to balance it out through celebrating. Our culture is particularly noncreative in celebrations: We have some fun fireworks on July 4, great decorations and store sales around Christmastime, some late-night revelries on New Year’s Eve, green beer on St. Patrick’s Day, parades on Memorial Day (if you’re lucky) and then you get to celebrate your birthday and anniversary. There are the one-time celebrations, also, such as graduation or a wedding. If you’re Jewish you get a Bar- or Bat-mitzvah, and Catholics have First Communions. Other than those paltry few, there’s not a whole lot of partying goin’ round.
What’s most important about celebrations is that they serve as acknowledgements, life markers. We’ve made it through another year of life…or marriage. We deserve an award! Look, we finally got through the grind of school! We’ve made it! We’ve reached some particular goal!
So many of us set our goals and then plod on and on toward them. We rarely stop to see how far we’ve come compared to where we were before. Maybe we’re afraid that the hobgoblins of the past…the anchors and cement-block slippers and bogeymen fears will rear their ugly heads and get in our way again. Maybe we’re just too busy moving forward to take a moment to look back.
I think the first step in setting and attaining goals is to take a good, long look at where we’ve already been---and then to stop and celebrate how far we’ve already come! To acknowledge ourselves for making it through all the trials and tribulations and stresses and obstacles we’ve encountered. And, most important, to congratulate ourselves for getting to today!
After all, how can you set a map to your future and plan the direction to take if you don’t know where you’re starting?
So take a few moments and lift the mirror. Take a long look at the road behind you. Pat yourself on the back! Shake your own hand! Have a chocolate bon-bon! Light a candle and make a wish! Do something that is celebratory to acknowledge your success in getting to today!
Just like in Alice-in-Wonderland---celebrate your Un-Birthday!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InSn2BLDwfQ http://www.nonsenselit.org/carroll/fc0341/
Step number two: Plan some celebrations on the way to your goals. When I get my first chapter written, I’m going to hold a tea party! When I reach five new clients, I’ll take myself to dinner! When I get my business loan, I’ll buy that beautiful desk lamp!
And for the ‘little’ steps, especially the hard ones---find a mini-celebration for yourself. Pat yourself on the head (when no one’s looking), shake your own hand, do a Happy Dance around your desk…whatever works for you.
These are all moments of self-acknowledgement, of positive feedback. Positive feedback is the single most motivating and inspirational force I know (well, second…the possibility of meeting Robert Redford is the first most motivating and inspirational force I know, personally).
And, by all means---celebrate your half-birthday!
What sorts of celebrations, large or small, do you do? What provides positive feedback that motivates and inspires you in continuing toward your goals? Please feel free to share your thoughts here!
--Batya
Monday, February 25, 2008
Psychotherapy vs Life Coaching: Which is for you?
A number of people have been asking me, “Why two businesses? What’s the difference between Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy and UPositive Life Coaching?” So I thought this would be a good place to try to clarify it.
As a licensed psychotherapist (LCSW), I am well trained to help you explore deep emotional issues, work through relationship problems, and recover from physical/sexual/emotional abuse. My Master’s level education as well as more than 15 years in the field, provides me with the expertise to help you change your life from the inside out.
In Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy sessions we explore the contributing factors to your relationship with the world and the people around you; address issues of self-esteem, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress, and the like to help you make better choices. We work our way through layers of your habits and defenses to change your behavior, attitude, and feelings in the life you lead. Of course, we also work with your goals, both therapeutic and life goals. Many tools used in life-coaching are utilized in therapy sessions as well.
However, due to the Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) to which I adhere in Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy, ‘dual relationships’ are not permitted. In the simplest definition possible, ‘dual relationships’ constitute any contact between therapist and client outside the therapy session.
As a life coach with UPositive Life Coaching, I can help you change your life from the outside in. We focus on your goals, creative or otherwise. There are tools and techniques we will utilize to streamline your process of attaining the success you define for yourself. If you need help with a new wardrobe for a new type of career, or need support at your first showcase, I can be a help, just two quick examples of what I could not do as your therapist.
On the other hand, we will not investigate the deeper emotional issues that might have contributed to your previously delayed successes. If these past experiences become obstacles in reaching your goals, I will be able to refer you to a therapist to work through them, to further clear the way so that you can better reach the dreams you have for your life.
All the seminars presented through Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy and UPositive Life Coaching are open to clients of both; however, there may be follow-up groups to some of the life coaching seminars that would not be open to therapy clients, again due to the ethical limitations of that profession.
To sum up: If you have deep emotional scars that need healing, early-life traumas that need clearing, or patterns that have repeated since childhood or adolescence, Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy sessions would be most helpful to you.
If, on the other hand, you are looking for guidance and support in setting, organizing, and achieving your goals, or with balancing your creative and everyday life…UPositive Life Coaching would be your best choice.
It really is: Do you need to work from the inside out (psychotherapy) or the outside in (life coaching). You will experience increased understanding of yourself, improve the quality of your life, and clear your path to success whichever choice is right for you.
Please feel free to post here, or contact me privately at UPositive55@aol.com if you have further questions about this topic.
As a licensed psychotherapist (LCSW), I am well trained to help you explore deep emotional issues, work through relationship problems, and recover from physical/sexual/emotional abuse. My Master’s level education as well as more than 15 years in the field, provides me with the expertise to help you change your life from the inside out.
In Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy sessions we explore the contributing factors to your relationship with the world and the people around you; address issues of self-esteem, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress, and the like to help you make better choices. We work our way through layers of your habits and defenses to change your behavior, attitude, and feelings in the life you lead. Of course, we also work with your goals, both therapeutic and life goals. Many tools used in life-coaching are utilized in therapy sessions as well.
However, due to the Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) to which I adhere in Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy, ‘dual relationships’ are not permitted. In the simplest definition possible, ‘dual relationships’ constitute any contact between therapist and client outside the therapy session.
As a life coach with UPositive Life Coaching, I can help you change your life from the outside in. We focus on your goals, creative or otherwise. There are tools and techniques we will utilize to streamline your process of attaining the success you define for yourself. If you need help with a new wardrobe for a new type of career, or need support at your first showcase, I can be a help, just two quick examples of what I could not do as your therapist.
On the other hand, we will not investigate the deeper emotional issues that might have contributed to your previously delayed successes. If these past experiences become obstacles in reaching your goals, I will be able to refer you to a therapist to work through them, to further clear the way so that you can better reach the dreams you have for your life.
All the seminars presented through Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy and UPositive Life Coaching are open to clients of both; however, there may be follow-up groups to some of the life coaching seminars that would not be open to therapy clients, again due to the ethical limitations of that profession.
To sum up: If you have deep emotional scars that need healing, early-life traumas that need clearing, or patterns that have repeated since childhood or adolescence, Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy sessions would be most helpful to you.
If, on the other hand, you are looking for guidance and support in setting, organizing, and achieving your goals, or with balancing your creative and everyday life…UPositive Life Coaching would be your best choice.
It really is: Do you need to work from the inside out (psychotherapy) or the outside in (life coaching). You will experience increased understanding of yourself, improve the quality of your life, and clear your path to success whichever choice is right for you.
Please feel free to post here, or contact me privately at UPositive55@aol.com if you have further questions about this topic.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Health Fair Canceled Feb. 23
Bad News First.
Sorry---if anyone was planning to go, but I just this minute got a call from the Turner Center at the Bellevue Y that they're postponing the Health Fair until late April. More info closer to that time.
Good news: my winning entry is up on CoolStuff4Writers.com, so if you have a chance and want a chuckle, you can read it there!
--Batya
Sorry---if anyone was planning to go, but I just this minute got a call from the Turner Center at the Bellevue Y that they're postponing the Health Fair until late April. More info closer to that time.
Good news: my winning entry is up on CoolStuff4Writers.com, so if you have a chance and want a chuckle, you can read it there!
--Batya
Monday, February 18, 2008
Courage to Create
Another Monday already! That was quick!
First, a huge thank you to Elysabeth, Steve, and Heather for their angelic and brilliant editing of my Web copy. I owe all three of you!
NEWS: Please remember to stop by and visit UPositive Life Coaching's table at the Turner Center Health Fair on Saturday, 2/23, between 9 and 2. It's focusing on (mildly) Alternative Medicine and Health, so there promises to be interesting information available. The Bellevue Y is behind the Starbuck's in the newly developed area just Nashville-side of Chaffin's Barn on Hwy. 100. Let me know if you need directions.
The March-April calendar for both UPositive Life Coaching and Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy is ready. I'm really excited about presenting a very wide range of workshops. The dates will be up on the Website as soon as the Website is up (UPositive.com), which is soon, I promise! Seminar topics: Goal Attainment for the Creative Person, Breaking thru Creative Blocks, Getting it Done! (accountability for attaining your goals), Intro to Past-Life Regressions, 2 Hours to Better Sleep, Positive Thinking, and a Women's Therapy Group. Contact me if you want more info on any of these prior to the website getting going.
Hopefully, my winning, and funny, contest entry will up on http://www.coolstuff4writers.com/ this week. I'm in the process of finding out what's holding it up.
Before I get into more detail, my Argumentative Imps (adorable little things, really) insist on being heard. The book talks about creative endeavors in the sense of high art, or well-judged art, or successful art. I wholeheartedly argue that creativity, art of any sort, every product of creative energy, has equal value. Rather than go into detail about that (a totally separate blog), I'd just like to say that what takes courage is not the quality of product, but the quality of action---the doing, the process. We only have the ability to choose to create, not to choose the results (if only we did! Grammies all around!)
In The Courage to Create, May addresses such questions as, Why does an original idea pop up from the unconscious at a given moment? What's the relation between talent and the creative act? Why are we so delighted by the products of creativity? Right in the Preface he gives the answer: "We express our being by creating. Creativity is a necessary sequel to being." The rest of the book explores the process of creativity itself as well as the courage needed to participate in life with a creative response. He discusses form and harmony, the need to make meaning from chaos, the high of the creative moment, the depth or absorption into the energy of life itself that is required for creativity.
The book is well-worth reading: I can't possibly do it justice here. Anyone interesting in creativity as a process or act will enjoy reading it.
What I would like to ask, though, is what does 'courage' mean, in relation to creativity?
Courage is usually defined as the determination to proceed with fear. If there is no fear, there is no courage...there's just everyday action. So...what's fearful about creativity?
Instead of giving my answer (fingers itching to type), I'm going to open the discussion up to all of you. Please post your thoughts, other questions, and ideas. I'm curious to hear what you all have to say! (And I promise to offer my own thoughts on the topic next Monday, or before.)
---Batya
First, a huge thank you to Elysabeth, Steve, and Heather for their angelic and brilliant editing of my Web copy. I owe all three of you!
NEWS: Please remember to stop by and visit UPositive Life Coaching's table at the Turner Center Health Fair on Saturday, 2/23, between 9 and 2. It's focusing on (mildly) Alternative Medicine and Health, so there promises to be interesting information available. The Bellevue Y is behind the Starbuck's in the newly developed area just Nashville-side of Chaffin's Barn on Hwy. 100. Let me know if you need directions.
The March-April calendar for both UPositive Life Coaching and Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy is ready. I'm really excited about presenting a very wide range of workshops. The dates will be up on the Website as soon as the Website is up (UPositive.com), which is soon, I promise! Seminar topics: Goal Attainment for the Creative Person, Breaking thru Creative Blocks, Getting it Done! (accountability for attaining your goals), Intro to Past-Life Regressions, 2 Hours to Better Sleep, Positive Thinking, and a Women's Therapy Group. Contact me if you want more info on any of these prior to the website getting going.
Hopefully, my winning, and funny, contest entry will up on http://www.coolstuff4writers.com/ this week. I'm in the process of finding out what's holding it up.
THOUGHTS
The Courage to Create, what a wonderful phrase! It's also the title to one of Rollo May's books, first printed in 1975. Rollo May is a psychotherapist whose writing can fit as easily under the heading of philosophy.
Before I get into more detail, my Argumentative Imps (adorable little things, really) insist on being heard. The book talks about creative endeavors in the sense of high art, or well-judged art, or successful art. I wholeheartedly argue that creativity, art of any sort, every product of creative energy, has equal value. Rather than go into detail about that (a totally separate blog), I'd just like to say that what takes courage is not the quality of product, but the quality of action---the doing, the process. We only have the ability to choose to create, not to choose the results (if only we did! Grammies all around!)
In The Courage to Create, May addresses such questions as, Why does an original idea pop up from the unconscious at a given moment? What's the relation between talent and the creative act? Why are we so delighted by the products of creativity? Right in the Preface he gives the answer: "We express our being by creating. Creativity is a necessary sequel to being." The rest of the book explores the process of creativity itself as well as the courage needed to participate in life with a creative response. He discusses form and harmony, the need to make meaning from chaos, the high of the creative moment, the depth or absorption into the energy of life itself that is required for creativity.
The book is well-worth reading: I can't possibly do it justice here. Anyone interesting in creativity as a process or act will enjoy reading it.
What I would like to ask, though, is what does 'courage' mean, in relation to creativity?
Courage is usually defined as the determination to proceed with fear. If there is no fear, there is no courage...there's just everyday action. So...what's fearful about creativity?
Instead of giving my answer (fingers itching to type), I'm going to open the discussion up to all of you. Please post your thoughts, other questions, and ideas. I'm curious to hear what you all have to say! (And I promise to offer my own thoughts on the topic next Monday, or before.)
---Batya
Monday, February 11, 2008
Updates, Monday Monday
Well, it's Monday, and here I am blogging. Yes, I do try to keep my word.
First, some News and Updates:
I won! I won! First prize in Seven Outrageous Writing Resolutions for 2008, on http://www.coolstuff4writers.com/Contest/Pastwinners.html. You know I can always create a list of goals, right? It's not up yet, but it should be there within the next few days. Guaranteed to give you a chuckle or two!
UPositive Life Coaching will have a table at The Turner Center's Alternative Health Fair, on Saturday, February 23, from 9 to 2, at the Bellevue Y (Hwy. 100, just before Chaffin's Barn). Stop on by to say hello!
UPositive.com is moseying its way into existence...almost there, almost there. I'll be sending out an email to friends, clients, and family to announce it's actual day of birth.
In the meantime, some thoughts for this Monday.
I'm preparing a new seminar about Time Management for the Creative Person. Basically, there's a lot of conversation needed between the Left and Right Brains in this process, especially because the Left Hemisphere functions on (maybe invented) linear, clock-and-calendar time, and the Right Hemisphere functions on non-linear, cyclical-sequential-mood-go-with-the-flow time. The challenge is to overlap those two functions in the same realm of action: our actions.
There are tricks, of course. Time-expansion, which I'll teach at the seminar, works wonders, but can't be overused. Right-Brain/Left-Brain Communication is essential.
Maybe it's time to finally write my book: How to Get Everything Done Through Procrastination. I've got the title page and intro down, but I seem to get distracted by other activities....
Personally, I'm finding that after doing my goals visualizations, and my goals lists, and my goals outline, and my chart----that a running list of (almost 200) To-DoAbles helps. This won't work for everyone, but it might be worth a quick try. I hang it behind my computer, where my eyes (and hands and butt) spend most of their time---so I can't miss it. That way, there's no "I don't know what to do next" voice in my head with any validity. Sometimes I pull the list down, close my eyes, and just point. If I don't do that DoAble, I can always do the one above or below it (hey---who's looking?).
I do have some other ideas/points/tricks ready to go for the seminar, but I was wondering: Do any of you have ideas for time management that has worked for you in relation to your creativity---either getting down to creating or just making time for it in your busy schedule? Please feel free to share in a comment here.
--Batya
First, some News and Updates:
I won! I won! First prize in Seven Outrageous Writing Resolutions for 2008, on http://www.coolstuff4writers.com/Contest/Pastwinners.html. You know I can always create a list of goals, right? It's not up yet, but it should be there within the next few days. Guaranteed to give you a chuckle or two!
UPositive Life Coaching will have a table at The Turner Center's Alternative Health Fair, on Saturday, February 23, from 9 to 2, at the Bellevue Y (Hwy. 100, just before Chaffin's Barn). Stop on by to say hello!
UPositive.com is moseying its way into existence...almost there, almost there. I'll be sending out an email to friends, clients, and family to announce it's actual day of birth.
In the meantime, some thoughts for this Monday.
I'm preparing a new seminar about Time Management for the Creative Person. Basically, there's a lot of conversation needed between the Left and Right Brains in this process, especially because the Left Hemisphere functions on (maybe invented) linear, clock-and-calendar time, and the Right Hemisphere functions on non-linear, cyclical-sequential-mood-go-with-the-flow time. The challenge is to overlap those two functions in the same realm of action: our actions.
There are tricks, of course. Time-expansion, which I'll teach at the seminar, works wonders, but can't be overused. Right-Brain/Left-Brain Communication is essential.
Maybe it's time to finally write my book: How to Get Everything Done Through Procrastination. I've got the title page and intro down, but I seem to get distracted by other activities....
Personally, I'm finding that after doing my goals visualizations, and my goals lists, and my goals outline, and my chart----that a running list of (almost 200) To-DoAbles helps. This won't work for everyone, but it might be worth a quick try. I hang it behind my computer, where my eyes (and hands and butt) spend most of their time---so I can't miss it. That way, there's no "I don't know what to do next" voice in my head with any validity. Sometimes I pull the list down, close my eyes, and just point. If I don't do that DoAble, I can always do the one above or below it (hey---who's looking?).
I do have some other ideas/points/tricks ready to go for the seminar, but I was wondering: Do any of you have ideas for time management that has worked for you in relation to your creativity---either getting down to creating or just making time for it in your busy schedule? Please feel free to share in a comment here.
--Batya
Monday, February 4, 2008
Welcome to the new blog for UPositive!
Welcome to the new blog for UPositive!!
Here, you'll be able to read and post comments about all sorts of topics related to psychotherapy, life coaching, creativity, upcoming UPositive Life Coaching and Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy seminars, new eBooks, motivation, and more!
In order to respect friends, clients, parents, and youngsters who might visit, I would appreciate everyone refraining from cursing on this blog. Other than that---thoughts, feelings, questions, answers, quotations, suggestions---pretty much anything goes.
My idea is to use this blog to address various issues related to the topics of my businesses---even the fact that I have more than one business. I'll mention books, quotes from books, maybe even movies or TV shows that elicit thoughts, inspiration, or questions, and I hope you'll add your own responses.
I'm hoping that clients, prospective clients, friends, family members, creative folks of all styles of expression find the blog helpful and inspiring!
Unlike my personal blog, I promise to post to this one at least once a week, preferably more often. I'm planning on Mondays, so please do check back!
And please visit my new Website: UPositive.com (up and running by the end of February, 2008), and about time!
--Batya
Here, you'll be able to read and post comments about all sorts of topics related to psychotherapy, life coaching, creativity, upcoming UPositive Life Coaching and Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy seminars, new eBooks, motivation, and more!
In order to respect friends, clients, parents, and youngsters who might visit, I would appreciate everyone refraining from cursing on this blog. Other than that---thoughts, feelings, questions, answers, quotations, suggestions---pretty much anything goes.
My idea is to use this blog to address various issues related to the topics of my businesses---even the fact that I have more than one business. I'll mention books, quotes from books, maybe even movies or TV shows that elicit thoughts, inspiration, or questions, and I hope you'll add your own responses.
I'm hoping that clients, prospective clients, friends, family members, creative folks of all styles of expression find the blog helpful and inspiring!
Unlike my personal blog, I promise to post to this one at least once a week, preferably more often. I'm planning on Mondays, so please do check back!
And please visit my new Website: UPositive.com (up and running by the end of February, 2008), and about time!
--Batya
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