News!
The new August-September 2008 videos will be up by the end of the week. The new UPositive Creativity and Life Coaching Goal Attainment Tip is about making decisions, and the Creativity Challenge focuses on synesthesia (“joined perception”). Take a look/listen at www.YouTube.com/UPositive. Thank you Lance!
The first items from Batya Sez… UPositive’s product line of motivational, inspirational, slightly cynical, and just plain fun sayings on caps and T-shirts, mousepads and mugs, magnets and more should also be available by the end of this week. You can find them through the Shop link at www.UPositive.com or through www.CafePress.com/UPositive (I haven’t tested this link yet…if it changes I’ll post the new one here next Monday). The second batch of items should be available in another week or so.
The Website, www.UPositive.com, is semi-functional!!!! There are some important changes that will be posted in a few days; the eBook is ready but not yet connected to the site, and the Links page is not up-to-date but will be soon. Feel free to wander around the site and let me know what you think!
Look for a big grand opening party in mid-September! Details will be available by the end of this month!
Fear of Failure/Fear of Success
In the past two weeks, the topic of fear in relation to creative activity and/or goal attainment has come up a number of times. I’m not going to address the difference between the fear of failure vs the fear of success here, because the results are the same: we become stuck, inactive, unable to accomplish our desires, and often depressed.
Fear is an interesting emotion. Most of our emotions reside in the right brain. Fear, on the other hand, seems to originate in the left brain, jump the dividing line of the corpus callosum, and take up residence in the right brain. There, it masquerades as an intense emotion rather than the belief(s) that it is.
“I might fail,” is a thought, not an emotion, and the resulting beliefs, such as “I’m not good enough,” or “Then I am worthless,” or “Then no one will love me,” or many other possible thoughts jump up with it. Sometimes they’re just under the surface of awareness, but with a bit of scratching through, we’ll find them.
When we allow fear of failure/success to run our lives, to make choices regarding actions on the to-do list of attaining our goals, we often fall into a depression, which further shackles our forward motion. Often, breaking through depression requires taking action no matter what: whether we feel like we want to or not. (Biochemical depression might need a biochemical response as well as taking action). Even very small activities can engender increased energy.
I think the most powerful tool to fight the fear of failure/success is courage. Courage is often a doing-it-anyway attitude. I’m going to try whether I fail or succeed. I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, “the only true failure is in not trying” or some such wording. Courage is something we all have because it can be made up. Courage can come from “living as if” as often as it comes from some personality strength. It can be derived from stubbornness (“I won’t let that stop me!”) and from rebelliousness (“So, left brain, you think you have the last word? I don’t think so!”). In breaking through fear of failure/success, it doesn’t really matter where your courage comes from. Gather it together and use it.
Take a look through the Shop page at UPositive.com (well, in a week or two). If you need a reminder, the “Do it Anyway” products, with their inner-goblin faces, will remind you that you’re not alone in this battle against your fears.
The other recommendation I have for addressing and conquering the fear of failure/success is to let go of your desire for perfection. We’re human: perfection belongs to God/gods/the Universe (whatever your belief, please translate to your own understanding). Accept that you’re going to fail at being perfect.
The Dine People (Navajo) added a dream thread to their weavings, which wandered through the rugs at a meandering diagonal while all the other threads were at right-angles. The Japanese build a flaw into their pottery. Both do these for the same reason: what they create should not be perfect, cannot be perfect, isn’t meant to be perfect. They’re human. Even their most successful creations are imperfect. And they see a beauty in that.
The August-September UPositive Goal Attainment video about decision-making addresses the fear of making choices, and offers a process to break through and make the best-possible choice of the moment. Take a look: it might be helpful to you.
There’s a lot more conversation possible about fear of failure/success. I’d like to hear your thoughts, suggestions, and experiences about it. Please post your comments and stories here.
Note: Primal fear---of such things as loud noises, falling, possibly the dark, large animals with sharp teeth growling at us, and, in Romania especially, Dracula, arises from our Reptilian brain, but is not the topic of this conversation.
---Batya
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Welcome to the Age of the Right Brain
As I sifted through a pile of months-old New York Times papers, I came across an interesting article in the Business Section of April 6th. It caught my eye with the title: “Let Computers Compute. It’s the Age of the Right Brain.” Yes!
The article, in a nutshell, emphasizes not only the importance but also the need for creativity in the business setting. This certainly isn’t a new thought, but it has taken a number of decades for it to gain some weight in the business community.
As the NYT article states, we have entered a “Creative Economy” and the “Conceptual Age.” It points out the somewhat obvious: that computers and cheap labor in Asia are now doing much of the left-brain work of the previous American workforce. The left-brain work of creating and using computers, which can now handle many of the sequential skills of that hemisphere, has made much of its own work obsolete.
The left brain is outsourcing and automating itself. For instance, can you remember the last time a live person answered a business phone? Or when customer service for a product didn’t start out (and for the most part complete) your problems by computer?
Business Coaches may well be at the forefront of encouraging creative thinking in corporate America. They use brainstorming (a right-brain activity), drawing, journaling, and other right-brain activities to teach problem-solving from new angles. Thinking outside the box is now encouraged in many major corporations, at least on the management level.
That’s great news!
I think, however, that it’s going to take a while for it to trickle down to the mid-size company, and certainly longer to trickle down to below management level, if it ever does. Is that a hint of cynicism? Yes. I’d love to hear experiences that prove me wrong about it, though.
It’s a good sign, anyway. Certainly, the fact that creativity in the business setting is addressed by the New York Times Business Section, means that the topic is up for conversation. Entering the awareness of the general populace, creativity just might have a positive effect in places we can only imagine (yup, with our right brains!).
It’s my firm belief that the more we use our right brain in all areas of our lives, as individuals, as groups, as communities, as businesses, as a country…the better off we’ll be. The right brain sees the whole picture---it sees humanity as one thing, for instance---rather than categorizing. Certainly, there are more than enough prejudiced artists, writers, singers, et cetera in the creative community, but taking an educated guess I imagine the percentage is lower than in the general population. The right brain tends to be inclusive and sees similarities; it puts things together in patterns the left brain is too busy categorizing to notice.
And anything that encourages creative productivity in any form is on the plus side of my ledger-of-life.
So I’m on board to welcome the “Conceptual Age”---bring it on! My right brain is ready: is yours?
--Batya
The article, in a nutshell, emphasizes not only the importance but also the need for creativity in the business setting. This certainly isn’t a new thought, but it has taken a number of decades for it to gain some weight in the business community.
As the NYT article states, we have entered a “Creative Economy” and the “Conceptual Age.” It points out the somewhat obvious: that computers and cheap labor in Asia are now doing much of the left-brain work of the previous American workforce. The left-brain work of creating and using computers, which can now handle many of the sequential skills of that hemisphere, has made much of its own work obsolete.
The left brain is outsourcing and automating itself. For instance, can you remember the last time a live person answered a business phone? Or when customer service for a product didn’t start out (and for the most part complete) your problems by computer?
Business Coaches may well be at the forefront of encouraging creative thinking in corporate America. They use brainstorming (a right-brain activity), drawing, journaling, and other right-brain activities to teach problem-solving from new angles. Thinking outside the box is now encouraged in many major corporations, at least on the management level.
That’s great news!
I think, however, that it’s going to take a while for it to trickle down to the mid-size company, and certainly longer to trickle down to below management level, if it ever does. Is that a hint of cynicism? Yes. I’d love to hear experiences that prove me wrong about it, though.
It’s a good sign, anyway. Certainly, the fact that creativity in the business setting is addressed by the New York Times Business Section, means that the topic is up for conversation. Entering the awareness of the general populace, creativity just might have a positive effect in places we can only imagine (yup, with our right brains!).
It’s my firm belief that the more we use our right brain in all areas of our lives, as individuals, as groups, as communities, as businesses, as a country…the better off we’ll be. The right brain sees the whole picture---it sees humanity as one thing, for instance---rather than categorizing. Certainly, there are more than enough prejudiced artists, writers, singers, et cetera in the creative community, but taking an educated guess I imagine the percentage is lower than in the general population. The right brain tends to be inclusive and sees similarities; it puts things together in patterns the left brain is too busy categorizing to notice.
And anything that encourages creative productivity in any form is on the plus side of my ledger-of-life.
So I’m on board to welcome the “Conceptual Age”---bring it on! My right brain is ready: is yours?
--Batya
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
The Best Laid Plans...
I’ve been contemplating the realities of life lately, after hearing stories from a number of my friends about not reaching their goals. What happens when you’ve envisioned your goals, set them, planned the steps to them, taken the steps, remained positive, and still not reached your goals?
My first response is to revisit the process: Is the vision detailed? Anchored through the senses? Can you really feel the accomplishment when you imagine it? Have you held that vision with you during the process, revisiting it over and over? Were there steps that you skipped? Was your positive attitude surface only, or were you committed to it?
These are not questions to make anyone “wrong” but a review similar to what is done in any business to learn where to improve, where to tweak the process, where to redirect energy.
Other questions arise: Is this the goal you really want---or one you think you should want? Is there another path to take to reach it?
Can you still work toward the goal? Is it the timing you set for yourself what you’ve failed at? If so, readjust your calendar. Find alternate steps to take. Perhaps there’s a skill you need to learn, new people to meet, someone you need to hire to help you along the way.
If you’ve decided to abandon this particular goal, there are some steps I recommend while doing so. (1) Take a good look at how much you’ve accomplished and learned along the way. (2) What other goals did you accomplish to get as far as you have? (3) How does the process you’ve been through apply to your future?
I truly believe that every honest endeavor we undertake has value. Perhaps gleaning the value from what we term “failure” is the real treasure.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Have there been times when you did not reach the goals you set for yourself? What did you do? What have you learned from the process. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic!
--Batya
My first response is to revisit the process: Is the vision detailed? Anchored through the senses? Can you really feel the accomplishment when you imagine it? Have you held that vision with you during the process, revisiting it over and over? Were there steps that you skipped? Was your positive attitude surface only, or were you committed to it?
These are not questions to make anyone “wrong” but a review similar to what is done in any business to learn where to improve, where to tweak the process, where to redirect energy.
Other questions arise: Is this the goal you really want---or one you think you should want? Is there another path to take to reach it?
Can you still work toward the goal? Is it the timing you set for yourself what you’ve failed at? If so, readjust your calendar. Find alternate steps to take. Perhaps there’s a skill you need to learn, new people to meet, someone you need to hire to help you along the way.
If you’ve decided to abandon this particular goal, there are some steps I recommend while doing so. (1) Take a good look at how much you’ve accomplished and learned along the way. (2) What other goals did you accomplish to get as far as you have? (3) How does the process you’ve been through apply to your future?
I truly believe that every honest endeavor we undertake has value. Perhaps gleaning the value from what we term “failure” is the real treasure.
What are your thoughts on this topic? Have there been times when you did not reach the goals you set for yourself? What did you do? What have you learned from the process. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic!
--Batya
Monday, June 16, 2008
Websites and Babies
(Old) News
The Nashville Goal-Attainment Meetup continues on Tuesdays at 6 pm. Please sign up for this empowering group at http://self-improvement.meetup.com/279/. I'll be guiding people through a supportive process of getting to the goals they've already chosen. This is the Getting It Done! chance for success! Creative and everyday goals are welcome. It's an open group: come when you can!
Time Management for Creative People will be presented at the Songwriter’s Guild of America the next two Thursdays (19th and 26th) of June. Please go to www.songwritersguild.com to sign up. I’ll be presenting the seminar over two evenings: Thursdays, June 19th and 26th. First step in Time Management: put it on your calendars now! We’ll be talking about organizing, scheduling, and a lot more than that! As usual in my workshops, I’ll be addressing the special issues creative folks face in accomplishing left-brain activities such as managing time. We’ll be doing some fun right-brain activities, too. Conquering time management (yes, wear your chain-mail outfits!) leaves you more time to succeed with your creative endeavors! So, what are you waiting for? Seating is (really and truly) limited, so reserve now. Kimberly’s waiting to hear from you!
Website News The to-do list to get www.UPositive.com up and running is now less than a page long, double-spaced! The two May videos are still up on YouTube, and will stay up for the month of June...and maybe July. Check them out and enter the creativity challenge! I’m still looking for help in creating a virtual party for the day when www.UPositive.com is up and running!
My first eBook, Goal Attainment for Creative People, is being edited by my wonderful friend Elysabeth Eldering and will be available through the www.UPositive.com Website once that’s up, so please look for it there! Next goal is to create some fun products related to creativity, goal attainment, and just plain silliness; they’ll be available from CafePress.com in a week or two, and there will be a link from the Website.
TEN TOP REASONS WHY CREATING A WEBSITE IS LIKE HAVING A BABY
This week's blog is going to be short and sweet. It'll explain all you need to know about where I am with the Website.
10. You eat a lot during its gestation, especially chocolate.
9. It takes about 9 months to get it out in the world.
8. Web designer is as costly---and as necessary---as an obstetrician.
7. It requires all your attention, all the time.
6. It wants to grow up big and strong quicker than it’s ready to.
5. It gets into trouble every time you try to ignore it for a minute.
4. It (well, you) gets very whiny, cries, and even throws things.
3. It doesn’t always play well with others (blogs, YouTube, etc.)
2. You have to arrange for play dates (links).
1. It gets jealous whenever you try to accomplish something else.
The Nashville Goal-Attainment Meetup continues on Tuesdays at 6 pm. Please sign up for this empowering group at http://self-improvement.meetup.com/279/. I'll be guiding people through a supportive process of getting to the goals they've already chosen. This is the Getting It Done! chance for success! Creative and everyday goals are welcome. It's an open group: come when you can!
Time Management for Creative People will be presented at the Songwriter’s Guild of America the next two Thursdays (19th and 26th) of June. Please go to www.songwritersguild.com to sign up. I’ll be presenting the seminar over two evenings: Thursdays, June 19th and 26th. First step in Time Management: put it on your calendars now! We’ll be talking about organizing, scheduling, and a lot more than that! As usual in my workshops, I’ll be addressing the special issues creative folks face in accomplishing left-brain activities such as managing time. We’ll be doing some fun right-brain activities, too. Conquering time management (yes, wear your chain-mail outfits!) leaves you more time to succeed with your creative endeavors! So, what are you waiting for? Seating is (really and truly) limited, so reserve now. Kimberly’s waiting to hear from you!
Website News The to-do list to get www.UPositive.com up and running is now less than a page long, double-spaced! The two May videos are still up on YouTube, and will stay up for the month of June...and maybe July. Check them out and enter the creativity challenge! I’m still looking for help in creating a virtual party for the day when www.UPositive.com is up and running!
My first eBook, Goal Attainment for Creative People, is being edited by my wonderful friend Elysabeth Eldering and will be available through the www.UPositive.com Website once that’s up, so please look for it there! Next goal is to create some fun products related to creativity, goal attainment, and just plain silliness; they’ll be available from CafePress.com in a week or two, and there will be a link from the Website.
TEN TOP REASONS WHY CREATING A WEBSITE IS LIKE HAVING A BABY
This week's blog is going to be short and sweet. It'll explain all you need to know about where I am with the Website.
10. You eat a lot during its gestation, especially chocolate.
9. It takes about 9 months to get it out in the world.
8. Web designer is as costly---and as necessary---as an obstetrician.
7. It requires all your attention, all the time.
6. It wants to grow up big and strong quicker than it’s ready to.
5. It gets into trouble every time you try to ignore it for a minute.
4. It (well, you) gets very whiny, cries, and even throws things.
3. It doesn’t always play well with others (blogs, YouTube, etc.)
2. You have to arrange for play dates (links).
1. It gets jealous whenever you try to accomplish something else.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Creativity & "Madness" 2nd look
News and not-so-new news
The Nashville Goal-Attainment Meetup continues on Tuesdays at 6 pm. Please sign up for this empowering group at http://self-improvement.meetup.com/279/. This is the Getting It Done! chance for success! Ifyou really want to create the life you dream of, this is the place that can help you get it done! Creative and everyday goals are welcome. It's an open group: come when you can!
Time Management for Creative People will be presented at the Songwriter’s Guild of America on June 18th and 26th (both are Thursday evenings). That's next week, people! Please go to www.songwritersguild.com to sign up. First step in Time Management: put it on your calendars now! We’ll be talking about organizing, scheduling, and a lot more than that! As usual in my workshops, I’ll be addressing the special issues creative folks face in accomplishing left-brain activities such as managing time. We’ll be doing some fun right-brain activities, too. Managing time leads to increased success in your creative endeavors! So, what are you waiting for? Seating is (really and truly) limited, so reserve now. Kimberly’s waiting to hear from you!
Website News The to-do list to get www.UPositive.com up and running is showing some actual check-it's-done marks! The two May videos remain up on YouTube. Check them out and enter the creativity challenge! They'll be there throughout June, too; I'll aim to start new ones on a monthly basis in July. Does anyone know how to create a virtual party for the day when www.UPositive.com is up and running?
My first eBook, Goal Attainment for Creative People, will available from the Webite as soon as it's active. I’m also busy creating some fun products---coffee mugs, T-shirts, caps, magnets, etc.---related to creativity, goal attainment, and just plain silliness. Does anyone out there know how to maneuver in CafePress.com?
CREATIVITY & MADNESS (2nd look)
There’s actually an annual week-long seminar out in Santa Fe that I’m planning to attend one of these years, by that title. Intriguing workshops, though most are based on examining the work of a particular well-known artist (broadest definition of the term), usually past, in the light of their mental health issues or personality quirks. It leaves much to be desired, as far as I can tell, but the title of the retreat draws me to it, hopefully not in the moth-to-flame kind of way.
What interests me much more are inquiries into the chicken-or-egg type of controversy over “madness” and creativity. Most of the studies I’ve read approach the topic with how the symptoms of a mental health diagnosis---such as depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder---affect the creative process, either feeding it or detracting from it.
Many salient points are explored in those approaches: how the listlessness and lack of energy of depression keep writers from their work; how being unable to focus leaves many artistic works unfinished, frustrating the artist; how anxiety about failure or success leaves many works unmarketed, or even uncreated.
I like this approach, as it provides quite a bit of insight into problems my friends, colleagues, and clients face.
But it leaves something out. Something I’ve experienced myself, and something---once I broach the topic---many creative people relate to.
Avoiding creative action can exacerbate the symptoms of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, ADD, OCD, or any number of other “madnesses.” When I have stories or songs brewing inside me and don’t make the time to release them onto paper or laptop, a particular kind of frustration sets in. If I continue to avoid creating, the frustration turns to anger, or anxiety, or a cloudlike depression that begins to affect my mood and other activities. It slows me down, though I tend to try to speed up in everything I do.
Truth is, if I don't make time for the creative outflow, no matter how fast I think I'm doing everything else, I tend to wander in circles. It takes more hours to accomplish fewer tasks. My attention, my life-force, my internal Power is off-kilter, mucking up the clarity with which I otherwise work.
What are your experiences: does your anxiety/depression/etc. work for or against your creativity? Does your avoidance of creativity increase or decrease your mental-health symptoms? I'd love to read your thoughts on the topic!
--Batya
The Nashville Goal-Attainment Meetup continues on Tuesdays at 6 pm. Please sign up for this empowering group at http://self-improvement.meetup.com/279/. This is the Getting It Done! chance for success! Ifyou really want to create the life you dream of, this is the place that can help you get it done! Creative and everyday goals are welcome. It's an open group: come when you can!
Time Management for Creative People will be presented at the Songwriter’s Guild of America on June 18th and 26th (both are Thursday evenings). That's next week, people! Please go to www.songwritersguild.com to sign up. First step in Time Management: put it on your calendars now! We’ll be talking about organizing, scheduling, and a lot more than that! As usual in my workshops, I’ll be addressing the special issues creative folks face in accomplishing left-brain activities such as managing time. We’ll be doing some fun right-brain activities, too. Managing time leads to increased success in your creative endeavors! So, what are you waiting for? Seating is (really and truly) limited, so reserve now. Kimberly’s waiting to hear from you!
Website News The to-do list to get www.UPositive.com up and running is showing some actual check-it's-done marks! The two May videos remain up on YouTube. Check them out and enter the creativity challenge! They'll be there throughout June, too; I'll aim to start new ones on a monthly basis in July. Does anyone know how to create a virtual party for the day when www.UPositive.com is up and running?
My first eBook, Goal Attainment for Creative People, will available from the Webite as soon as it's active. I’m also busy creating some fun products---coffee mugs, T-shirts, caps, magnets, etc.---related to creativity, goal attainment, and just plain silliness. Does anyone out there know how to maneuver in CafePress.com?
CREATIVITY & MADNESS (2nd look)
There’s actually an annual week-long seminar out in Santa Fe that I’m planning to attend one of these years, by that title. Intriguing workshops, though most are based on examining the work of a particular well-known artist (broadest definition of the term), usually past, in the light of their mental health issues or personality quirks. It leaves much to be desired, as far as I can tell, but the title of the retreat draws me to it, hopefully not in the moth-to-flame kind of way.
What interests me much more are inquiries into the chicken-or-egg type of controversy over “madness” and creativity. Most of the studies I’ve read approach the topic with how the symptoms of a mental health diagnosis---such as depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder---affect the creative process, either feeding it or detracting from it.
Many salient points are explored in those approaches: how the listlessness and lack of energy of depression keep writers from their work; how being unable to focus leaves many artistic works unfinished, frustrating the artist; how anxiety about failure or success leaves many works unmarketed, or even uncreated.
I like this approach, as it provides quite a bit of insight into problems my friends, colleagues, and clients face.
But it leaves something out. Something I’ve experienced myself, and something---once I broach the topic---many creative people relate to.
Avoiding creative action can exacerbate the symptoms of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, ADD, OCD, or any number of other “madnesses.” When I have stories or songs brewing inside me and don’t make the time to release them onto paper or laptop, a particular kind of frustration sets in. If I continue to avoid creating, the frustration turns to anger, or anxiety, or a cloudlike depression that begins to affect my mood and other activities. It slows me down, though I tend to try to speed up in everything I do.
Truth is, if I don't make time for the creative outflow, no matter how fast I think I'm doing everything else, I tend to wander in circles. It takes more hours to accomplish fewer tasks. My attention, my life-force, my internal Power is off-kilter, mucking up the clarity with which I otherwise work.
What are your experiences: does your anxiety/depression/etc. work for or against your creativity? Does your avoidance of creativity increase or decrease your mental-health symptoms? I'd love to read your thoughts on the topic!
--Batya
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Lost in Cyberia
Apologies to anyone who is kind enough to read this blog regularly and is wondering where this week's post is....it being Thursday and my usual posts occur on Monday (well, maybe Tuesday morning).
The Website is coming along...it'll be ready any time now...
I have been lost in Cyberia for the past two weeks trying to get it ready! There's sooooo much to it! Debbie at Digiroo.com has been wonderful, and patient, and kind, and brilliant in doing the web-building and designing....it's going to be great!
(I've also been fighting a bad tooth infection, and on meds...it might not have been an intelligent post anyway!)
New posts will return this coming Monday, June `9.
In the meantime, sign up with the Songwriter's Guild of America for the two-evening seminar on Time Management for Creative People. You'll have more time for your creative pursuits, get more done, and feel less frazzled by the end of it! http://www.songwritersguild.com/
The Goal Attainment Meetup of Nashville still meets Tuesday evenings at 6 pm for those of you willing to put effort into your dreams and aspirations. We won't be meeting the first Tuesday of the month because Chuck Whiting just asked me to help emcee his Tunesmithing Nights at Borders (I'll get you that link!). Check out the details for the Meetup at http://self-improvement.meetup.com/279/.
Have a wonderful weekend. See you on Monday!
--Batya
The Website is coming along...it'll be ready any time now...
I have been lost in Cyberia for the past two weeks trying to get it ready! There's sooooo much to it! Debbie at Digiroo.com has been wonderful, and patient, and kind, and brilliant in doing the web-building and designing....it's going to be great!
(I've also been fighting a bad tooth infection, and on meds...it might not have been an intelligent post anyway!)
New posts will return this coming Monday, June `9.
In the meantime, sign up with the Songwriter's Guild of America for the two-evening seminar on Time Management for Creative People. You'll have more time for your creative pursuits, get more done, and feel less frazzled by the end of it! http://www.songwritersguild.com/
The Goal Attainment Meetup of Nashville still meets Tuesday evenings at 6 pm for those of you willing to put effort into your dreams and aspirations. We won't be meeting the first Tuesday of the month because Chuck Whiting just asked me to help emcee his Tunesmithing Nights at Borders (I'll get you that link!). Check out the details for the Meetup at http://self-improvement.meetup.com/279/.
Have a wonderful weekend. See you on Monday!
--Batya
Monday, May 26, 2008
Freedom
The Nashville Goal-Attainment Meetup continues on Tuesdays at 6 pm. Please sign up for this empowering group at http://self-improvement.meetup.com/279/. I'll be guiding people through a supportive process of getting to the goals they've already chosen. This is the Getting It Done! chance for success! Creative and everyday goals are welcome. It's an open group: come when you can! We meet May 27, then skip a week for Chuck Whiting/SGA’s Tunesmithing at Border’s on West End---come join us!. We meet again June 10 if you miss tomorrow’s goals meeting.
Time Management for Creative People will be presented at the Songwriter’s Guild of America in June. June is soon, people! Please go to http://www.songwritersguild.com/ to sign up. I’ll be presenting the seminar over two evenings: Thursdays, June 19th and 26th. First step in Time Management: put it on your calendars now! We’ll be talking about organizing, scheduling, and a lot more than that! As usual in my workshops, I’ll be addressing the special issues creative folks face in accomplishing left-brain activities such as managing time. We’ll be doing some fun right-brain activities, too. Conquering time management (yes, wear your chain-mail outfits!) leaves you more time to succeed with your creative endeavors! So, what are you waiting for? Seating is (really and truly) limited, so reserve now. Kimberly’s waiting to hear from you!
Website News The to-do list to get www.UPositive.com up and running is now less than a page long, double-spaced! The two May videos are up on YouTube, and will stay up for the month of June. Check them out and enter the creativity challenge! I’m still looking for help in creating a virtual party for the day when www.UPositive.com is up and running!
My first eBook, Goal Attainment for Creative People, is being edited by my wonderful friend Elysabeth Eldering and will be available through the www.UPositive.com Website once that’s up, so please look for it there! Next goal is to create some fun products related to creativity, goal attainment, and just plain silliness; they’ll be available from CafePress.com in a week or two, and there will be a link from the Website.
Freedom
It’s Memorial Day. Day of memories. Day of being thankful to those who have given their lives for our freedoms.
I keep reminding myself that freedom isn’t about how far I can afford to drive in my car this week, given the rising gas prices: it’s about the right to go where I want when I want to, even if I have to walk! Freedom isn’t about which candidate I’m going to vote for: it’s about being able to go to the polls unaccosted in order to vote.
Like many Americans, I love my country: at the same time, I appreciate having the freedom to criticize it, admonish it for not living up to its own high ideals, and speaking out against the injustices I see it perpetrating. This doesn’t make me less American---it makes me more American. Participating in the government isn’t just a right, I believe it’s a responsibility.
My challenge to anyone reading this blog is to write / sculpt / dance / sing / build / whittle / knit your creative expression of freedom.
If you’d like to post it here to share with others---please do!
And thank you to all those who have given their lives so that we are free to continue in the expression and experience of our freedoms in America.
--Batya
Time Management for Creative People will be presented at the Songwriter’s Guild of America in June. June is soon, people! Please go to http://www.songwritersguild.com/ to sign up. I’ll be presenting the seminar over two evenings: Thursdays, June 19th and 26th. First step in Time Management: put it on your calendars now! We’ll be talking about organizing, scheduling, and a lot more than that! As usual in my workshops, I’ll be addressing the special issues creative folks face in accomplishing left-brain activities such as managing time. We’ll be doing some fun right-brain activities, too. Conquering time management (yes, wear your chain-mail outfits!) leaves you more time to succeed with your creative endeavors! So, what are you waiting for? Seating is (really and truly) limited, so reserve now. Kimberly’s waiting to hear from you!
Website News The to-do list to get www.UPositive.com up and running is now less than a page long, double-spaced! The two May videos are up on YouTube, and will stay up for the month of June. Check them out and enter the creativity challenge! I’m still looking for help in creating a virtual party for the day when www.UPositive.com is up and running!
My first eBook, Goal Attainment for Creative People, is being edited by my wonderful friend Elysabeth Eldering and will be available through the www.UPositive.com Website once that’s up, so please look for it there! Next goal is to create some fun products related to creativity, goal attainment, and just plain silliness; they’ll be available from CafePress.com in a week or two, and there will be a link from the Website.
Freedom
It’s Memorial Day. Day of memories. Day of being thankful to those who have given their lives for our freedoms.
I keep reminding myself that freedom isn’t about how far I can afford to drive in my car this week, given the rising gas prices: it’s about the right to go where I want when I want to, even if I have to walk! Freedom isn’t about which candidate I’m going to vote for: it’s about being able to go to the polls unaccosted in order to vote.
Like many Americans, I love my country: at the same time, I appreciate having the freedom to criticize it, admonish it for not living up to its own high ideals, and speaking out against the injustices I see it perpetrating. This doesn’t make me less American---it makes me more American. Participating in the government isn’t just a right, I believe it’s a responsibility.
My challenge to anyone reading this blog is to write / sculpt / dance / sing / build / whittle / knit your creative expression of freedom.
If you’d like to post it here to share with others---please do!
And thank you to all those who have given their lives so that we are free to continue in the expression and experience of our freedoms in America.
--Batya
Monday, May 19, 2008
Preparation, or the Fixin' To of Goal Attainment
News and not-so-new news
The Nashville Goal-Attainment Meetup continues on Tuesdays at 6 pm. Please sign up for this empowering group at http://self-improvement.meetup.com/279/. I'll be guiding people through a supportive process of getting to the goals they've already chosen. This is the Getting It Done! chance for success! Creative and everyday goals are welcome. It's an open group: come when you can!
Time Management for Creative People will be presented at the Songwriter’s Guild of America in June. June is soon, people! Please go to www.songwritersguild.com to sign up. I’ll be presenting the seminar over two evenings: Thursdays, June 19th and 26th. First step in Time Management: put it on your calendars now! We’ll be talking about organizing, scheduling, and a lot more than that! As usual in my workshops, I’ll be addressing the special issues creative folks face in accomplishing left-brain activities such as managing time. We’ll be doing some fun right-brain activities, too. Conquering time management (yes, wear your chain-mail outfits!) leaves you more time to succeed with your creative endeavors! So, what are you waiting for? Seating is (really and truly) limited, so reserve now. Kimberly’s waiting to hear from you!
Website News The to-do list to get www.UPositive.com up and running is now less than a page long, double-spaced! The two May videos are up on YouTube, though they need a little tweaking, which should be done by tomorrow (Tuesday). Check them out and enter the creativity challenge! I think they'll be there for June, too; I'll aim to start new ones on a monthly basis in July. Does anyone know how to create a virtual party for the day when www.UPositive.com is up and running?
My first eBook, Goal Attainment for Creative People, should be ready in about a week. It'll be available on the Website, so please look for it there! I'm also trying to create some fun products related to creativity, goal attainment, and just plain silliness. Does anyone out there know how to maneuver in CafePress.com?
Preparation, or the Fixin' To of Goal Attainment
Since moving to the mid-South a little more than a decade ago, it took a while to figure out what "fixin' to" meant. Didn't you just decide to do something, wake up in the morning, and do it? What's this "fixin' to" thing?
I figured it out when I painted my house. Waking up one morning, I was determined to paint the living room. So I went and picked a paint color. Then I bought the right brushes and rollers. Since I planned on faux paint, I needed to test out a number of bags/rags/cloths until I found the one that produced the right effect. Reading the labels of the various paints came next. Laying down painter's cloth...taping the edges of the walls...stopping for lunch...answering the phone...changing into clothes I could get rid of at the end of the project...covering my hair...by the time I was ready, it was too late in the evening to get started.
I'd been busy all day---I swear I was! Exhausted! But not a wall had been painted, not even touched by a brush or roller or rag. So what had I done?
That's where the "fixin' to" started making sense. I hadn't been painting, but I'd sure spent the whole day fixin' to paint!
What does this have to do with goal attainment?
Everything. It isn't enough to write a hasty list of goals and expect that you'll start in the morning and attain them. Being successful requires planning, takes time, needs effort, and demands attention to detail. It's worth the time and energy to wrestle your goals into shape, organize them into an outline or plan, divide them into steps that are small enough to accomplish one day at a time, and affirm them regularly.
Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Doing something well necessitates preparation.
Successful chefs have assistants whose only job is to prep the meal: cut the veggies, line up the ingredients, etc. How many rehearsals does it take before a performance is presented to the public? I'm on the fifth draft of my first novel...and I'm sure it needs a sixth and seventh.
Your future success is worth proper preparation. Take the time to luxuriate in the visualizations; write and rewrite your goals in positive wording; schedule the small steps that you can accomplish this week and next.
So get fixin'! You'll be ahead of the game and so much closer to attaining your dreams!
--Batya
The Nashville Goal-Attainment Meetup continues on Tuesdays at 6 pm. Please sign up for this empowering group at http://self-improvement.meetup.com/279/. I'll be guiding people through a supportive process of getting to the goals they've already chosen. This is the Getting It Done! chance for success! Creative and everyday goals are welcome. It's an open group: come when you can!
Time Management for Creative People will be presented at the Songwriter’s Guild of America in June. June is soon, people! Please go to www.songwritersguild.com to sign up. I’ll be presenting the seminar over two evenings: Thursdays, June 19th and 26th. First step in Time Management: put it on your calendars now! We’ll be talking about organizing, scheduling, and a lot more than that! As usual in my workshops, I’ll be addressing the special issues creative folks face in accomplishing left-brain activities such as managing time. We’ll be doing some fun right-brain activities, too. Conquering time management (yes, wear your chain-mail outfits!) leaves you more time to succeed with your creative endeavors! So, what are you waiting for? Seating is (really and truly) limited, so reserve now. Kimberly’s waiting to hear from you!
Website News The to-do list to get www.UPositive.com up and running is now less than a page long, double-spaced! The two May videos are up on YouTube, though they need a little tweaking, which should be done by tomorrow (Tuesday). Check them out and enter the creativity challenge! I think they'll be there for June, too; I'll aim to start new ones on a monthly basis in July. Does anyone know how to create a virtual party for the day when www.UPositive.com is up and running?
My first eBook, Goal Attainment for Creative People, should be ready in about a week. It'll be available on the Website, so please look for it there! I'm also trying to create some fun products related to creativity, goal attainment, and just plain silliness. Does anyone out there know how to maneuver in CafePress.com?
Preparation, or the Fixin' To of Goal Attainment
Since moving to the mid-South a little more than a decade ago, it took a while to figure out what "fixin' to" meant. Didn't you just decide to do something, wake up in the morning, and do it? What's this "fixin' to" thing?
I figured it out when I painted my house. Waking up one morning, I was determined to paint the living room. So I went and picked a paint color. Then I bought the right brushes and rollers. Since I planned on faux paint, I needed to test out a number of bags/rags/cloths until I found the one that produced the right effect. Reading the labels of the various paints came next. Laying down painter's cloth...taping the edges of the walls...stopping for lunch...answering the phone...changing into clothes I could get rid of at the end of the project...covering my hair...by the time I was ready, it was too late in the evening to get started.
I'd been busy all day---I swear I was! Exhausted! But not a wall had been painted, not even touched by a brush or roller or rag. So what had I done?
That's where the "fixin' to" started making sense. I hadn't been painting, but I'd sure spent the whole day fixin' to paint!
What does this have to do with goal attainment?
Everything. It isn't enough to write a hasty list of goals and expect that you'll start in the morning and attain them. Being successful requires planning, takes time, needs effort, and demands attention to detail. It's worth the time and energy to wrestle your goals into shape, organize them into an outline or plan, divide them into steps that are small enough to accomplish one day at a time, and affirm them regularly.
Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Doing something well necessitates preparation.
Successful chefs have assistants whose only job is to prep the meal: cut the veggies, line up the ingredients, etc. How many rehearsals does it take before a performance is presented to the public? I'm on the fifth draft of my first novel...and I'm sure it needs a sixth and seventh.
Your future success is worth proper preparation. Take the time to luxuriate in the visualizations; write and rewrite your goals in positive wording; schedule the small steps that you can accomplish this week and next.
So get fixin'! You'll be ahead of the game and so much closer to attaining your dreams!
--Batya
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Approaches to Life
Reminders
The Nashville Goal-Attainment Meetup begins Tuesday, May 13 a 6 pm. Please sign up for this empowering group at http://self-improvement.meetup.com/279/. I'll be guiding people through a supportive process of getting to the goals they've already chosen. This is the Getting It Done! chance for success! Creative and everyday goals are welcome. If you can’t make it on the 13th, we’ll be meeting every Tuesday---it’s an open group: come when you can!
Time Management for Creative People will be presented at the Songwriter’s Guild of America in June. June is soon, people! Please go to www.songwritersguild.com to sign up. I’ll be presenting the seminar over two evenings: Thursdays, June 19th and 26th. First step in Time Management: put it on your calendars now! We’ll be talking about organizing, scheduling, and a lot more than that! As usual in my workshops, I’ll be addressing the special issues creative folks face in accomplishing left-brain activities such as managing time. We’ll be doing some fun right-brain activities, too. Conquering time management (yes, wear your chain-mail outfits!) leaves you more time to succeed with your creative endeavors! So, what are you waiting for? Seating is (really and truly) limited, so reserve now. Kimberly’s waiting to hear from you!
Website News
www.UPositive.com is still in the works…closer…ever closer. My videos will be on YouTube also, and might even be there before the Web is up. My Web-designer/mistress Debbie Gordon (www.digiroo.com) is still waving her magic cyber-wand and promises…soon! Trust me, I’ll let everyone know when www.UPositive..com is up and running!
Styles of Tasting Life
One of UPositive Life Coaching’s clients voiced concerns about all her interests and often coming to a standstill because she can’t decide among her many choices. I’ve heard this so many times, especially from creative people. Barbara Sher, in her book Refuse to Choose writes extensively on the subject, and if you or someone you know often faces this ‘problem,’ I highly recommend reading the book.
I truly believe that people have different ways of being in the world. I don't think one way is right or wrong.
Some have one narrow path: they are here to follow it, know what it is, and do it. My nephew is like that. Brilliant, wonderful kid. He knew as a junior (maybe earlier) in high school that he wanted to be a lawyer...he joined the debate team, did all sorts of things related, took relevant courses in college, will be entering his final year in law school in the fall. It's his single passion. Unfortunately, he considers himself too single-minded, and is now looking at developing interests outside law and school---and it's very hard for him to do that. He's like a friend of mine with one or two restaurants the prefer to dine at, where they always order the same, favorite dish. They're happy doing that.
Other people have a multitude of interests. They’re here to sample as many restaurants as possible. They enjoy going to a buffet of life. A taste of this, a bite of that. What happens for them---because of the culture and time we live in, I think---is they appear to be undecided. There's a myth that we're supposed to choose something and do that, and stick to it. But if everyone followed just one path, we wouldn't need maps or AAA or Mapquest. There's an excitement for those who are made this way in experiencing a whole lot of what life has to offer. Loving the smell of fresh-baked rye bread; then kneading up some Challah just to smell the difference when it's baking. Filling one vase with only roses, the other with one of each flower in the garden.
Why force yourself into a style of life that isn’t natural for you? Why not congratulate yourself for your multiple interests? Or for your single passion?
I’m always fascinated by the diversity of how human beings approach life. That’s a large part of what drew me to my first Master’s degree in cultural anthropology, and to my second in psychotherapy. We’re such an adaptable species! A Native Philipino up at Akwesasne (Mohawk reservation, upstate New York) once said: “We take the similarities [among people] for granted; it’s the differences that we celebrate.”
What’s your style in approaching life? I’ve only mentioned two here…there are bound to be others.
--Batya
The Nashville Goal-Attainment Meetup begins Tuesday, May 13 a 6 pm. Please sign up for this empowering group at http://self-improvement.meetup.com/279/. I'll be guiding people through a supportive process of getting to the goals they've already chosen. This is the Getting It Done! chance for success! Creative and everyday goals are welcome. If you can’t make it on the 13th, we’ll be meeting every Tuesday---it’s an open group: come when you can!
Time Management for Creative People will be presented at the Songwriter’s Guild of America in June. June is soon, people! Please go to www.songwritersguild.com to sign up. I’ll be presenting the seminar over two evenings: Thursdays, June 19th and 26th. First step in Time Management: put it on your calendars now! We’ll be talking about organizing, scheduling, and a lot more than that! As usual in my workshops, I’ll be addressing the special issues creative folks face in accomplishing left-brain activities such as managing time. We’ll be doing some fun right-brain activities, too. Conquering time management (yes, wear your chain-mail outfits!) leaves you more time to succeed with your creative endeavors! So, what are you waiting for? Seating is (really and truly) limited, so reserve now. Kimberly’s waiting to hear from you!
Website News
www.UPositive.com is still in the works…closer…ever closer. My videos will be on YouTube also, and might even be there before the Web is up. My Web-designer/mistress Debbie Gordon (www.digiroo.com) is still waving her magic cyber-wand and promises…soon! Trust me, I’ll let everyone know when www.UPositive..com is up and running!
Styles of Tasting Life
One of UPositive Life Coaching’s clients voiced concerns about all her interests and often coming to a standstill because she can’t decide among her many choices. I’ve heard this so many times, especially from creative people. Barbara Sher, in her book Refuse to Choose writes extensively on the subject, and if you or someone you know often faces this ‘problem,’ I highly recommend reading the book.
I truly believe that people have different ways of being in the world. I don't think one way is right or wrong.
Some have one narrow path: they are here to follow it, know what it is, and do it. My nephew is like that. Brilliant, wonderful kid. He knew as a junior (maybe earlier) in high school that he wanted to be a lawyer...he joined the debate team, did all sorts of things related, took relevant courses in college, will be entering his final year in law school in the fall. It's his single passion. Unfortunately, he considers himself too single-minded, and is now looking at developing interests outside law and school---and it's very hard for him to do that. He's like a friend of mine with one or two restaurants the prefer to dine at, where they always order the same, favorite dish. They're happy doing that.
Other people have a multitude of interests. They’re here to sample as many restaurants as possible. They enjoy going to a buffet of life. A taste of this, a bite of that. What happens for them---because of the culture and time we live in, I think---is they appear to be undecided. There's a myth that we're supposed to choose something and do that, and stick to it. But if everyone followed just one path, we wouldn't need maps or AAA or Mapquest. There's an excitement for those who are made this way in experiencing a whole lot of what life has to offer. Loving the smell of fresh-baked rye bread; then kneading up some Challah just to smell the difference when it's baking. Filling one vase with only roses, the other with one of each flower in the garden.
Why force yourself into a style of life that isn’t natural for you? Why not congratulate yourself for your multiple interests? Or for your single passion?
I’m always fascinated by the diversity of how human beings approach life. That’s a large part of what drew me to my first Master’s degree in cultural anthropology, and to my second in psychotherapy. We’re such an adaptable species! A Native Philipino up at Akwesasne (Mohawk reservation, upstate New York) once said: “We take the similarities [among people] for granted; it’s the differences that we celebrate.”
What’s your style in approaching life? I’ve only mentioned two here…there are bound to be others.
--Batya
Monday, May 5, 2008
Creativity & Madness
Reminder:
The Nashville Goal-Attainment Meetup begins Tuesday, May 13 at 6 pm. Please sign up for this empowering group at http://self-improvement.meetup.com/279/. I'll be guiding people through a supportive process of getting to the goals they've already chosen. This is the Getting It Done! chance for success! Creative and everyday goals are welcome.
Time Management for Creative People will be presented at the Songwriter’s Guild of America in June. June is soon, people! Please go to www.songwritersguild.com to sign up. I’ll be presenting the seminar over two evenings: Thursdays, June 19th and 26th. First step in Time Management: put it on your calendars now! We’ll be talking about organizing, scheduling, and a lot more than that! As usual in my workshops, I’ll be addressing the special issues creative folks face in accomplishing left-brain activities such as managing time. We’ll be doing some fun right-brain activities, too. Conquering time management (yes, wear your chain-mail outfits!) leaves you more time to succeed with your creative endeavors! So, what are you waiting for? Seating is (really and truly) limited, so reserve now. Kimberly’s waiting to hear from you!
Website News
www.UPositive.com might be up within the week. Feel free to say a little cyber-prayer for me, if you feel so moved. I spent a lot of time yesterday with my brilliant Web-designer/mistress Debbie Gordon (www.digiroo.com) reviewing what’s left before going live. I have a lot of writing to do this week. Lance has a lot of video editing to do this week. And Debbie has a lot of magic tricks to do to wrest “UPositive” domain from Yahoo! Seems Yahoo has spent the last few years tricking people and kidnapping their domain names; if you’ve signed up for “private” registration on there, you may never get your name back. We’ll see---I’m in Nashville, after all, and “when in Nashville, do as the streets do…change your name midway between here and there.” I’m thinking of starting a class-action suit against Yahoo, so if any of you have had a similar problem, please let me know. In the meantime, I’m still using UPositive55@aol.com as an email addy.
Creativity and Madness
There’s an annual conference with this name, held in Santa Fe, New Mexico every summer. I’d love to go, but haven’t gotten there yet. It’s arranged by the American Institute of Medical Education, which may explain the list of topics, which often include studies of specific artists/writers/etc. who have cut off ears, stuck heads in gas ovens, raged naked through the streets…you get the idea. They also have a smattering of talks overlaying psychotherapeutic theories on the works of various earlier artists (so they can’t argue, I suppose), as well as one or two discussions about First-Peoples’ approaches to emotional healing (wherein creativity and spirituality were more likely to mix).
Do you detect a hint of cynicism here? (who me?)
I’ve long disdained the myth (my term) that creative people are more likely than the general population to be “mad,” or suffering from mental illness, or the converse: that the mentally ill are more likely than the general population to be creative. For the past 20+ years I’ve worked with creative people as well as in community mental health clinics, where I’ve seen the entire gamut of diagnoses and a very wide range of individuals (age, size, race, ethnicity, religion, gender, political leaning, etc.). While there were certainly some very creative folks that sat across the therapy room from me, I seriously doubt the percentage was higher than if I’d been sitting in a large restaurant, or Grand Central Station. I ran a writing group for a clinic that served the recently-detoxed substance abuse population of Brooklyn, NY. Some absolutely brilliant pieces came out the ink end of their pens, but so did some poorly written work.
Last week the New York Times printed an article about this topic. They came to a similar conclusion: that no, you don’t need a mental health diagnosis---or the symptoms---to be creative. And mental illness is not a prerequisite for creativity. A number of highly successful writers reported that they would have been even more productive without the ups and downs of bipolar disorder; or the periodic, devastating inability to accomplish anything resulting from severe depression; or the fear of creating something imperfect stemming from anxiety.
So what does it take in order to be creative that has fed the myth of creativity-and-madness?
In talking with my friend (and struggling writer) Rose Marie, I came upon the theory that creativity requires an intense connection to the experience of life. The courage, I’d say (see previous blog on this topic), to let your defenses down and allow yourself to really feel the world around you, the people around you, the emotions and reactions and beliefs and energies that are present. Sometimes these are heart-wrenchingly sad, sometimes quake-in-the-boots scary, sometimes gut-shakingly funny.
Rather than requiring “madness,” which in all its forms distorts how we experience life, creativity requires strength, opening to intense emotion and thought, reaching our center, the clarity of hope and possibility. Creativity is more "magic" than "madness": you put life in one end and out the other comes a poem, a dance, a painting, a statue. Or like alchemy: put in base metals and produce the gold.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, arguments, questions about this topic! Perhaps your experience proves me wrong? Perhaps you’ve struggled with one or the other side of creativity-and-madness in your life? Please share your thoughts---whatever they are. Thanks!
--Batya
The Nashville Goal-Attainment Meetup begins Tuesday, May 13 at 6 pm. Please sign up for this empowering group at http://self-improvement.meetup.com/279/. I'll be guiding people through a supportive process of getting to the goals they've already chosen. This is the Getting It Done! chance for success! Creative and everyday goals are welcome.
Time Management for Creative People will be presented at the Songwriter’s Guild of America in June. June is soon, people! Please go to www.songwritersguild.com to sign up. I’ll be presenting the seminar over two evenings: Thursdays, June 19th and 26th. First step in Time Management: put it on your calendars now! We’ll be talking about organizing, scheduling, and a lot more than that! As usual in my workshops, I’ll be addressing the special issues creative folks face in accomplishing left-brain activities such as managing time. We’ll be doing some fun right-brain activities, too. Conquering time management (yes, wear your chain-mail outfits!) leaves you more time to succeed with your creative endeavors! So, what are you waiting for? Seating is (really and truly) limited, so reserve now. Kimberly’s waiting to hear from you!
Website News
www.UPositive.com might be up within the week. Feel free to say a little cyber-prayer for me, if you feel so moved. I spent a lot of time yesterday with my brilliant Web-designer/mistress Debbie Gordon (www.digiroo.com) reviewing what’s left before going live. I have a lot of writing to do this week. Lance has a lot of video editing to do this week. And Debbie has a lot of magic tricks to do to wrest “UPositive” domain from Yahoo! Seems Yahoo has spent the last few years tricking people and kidnapping their domain names; if you’ve signed up for “private” registration on there, you may never get your name back. We’ll see---I’m in Nashville, after all, and “when in Nashville, do as the streets do…change your name midway between here and there.” I’m thinking of starting a class-action suit against Yahoo, so if any of you have had a similar problem, please let me know. In the meantime, I’m still using UPositive55@aol.com as an email addy.
Creativity and Madness
There’s an annual conference with this name, held in Santa Fe, New Mexico every summer. I’d love to go, but haven’t gotten there yet. It’s arranged by the American Institute of Medical Education, which may explain the list of topics, which often include studies of specific artists/writers/etc. who have cut off ears, stuck heads in gas ovens, raged naked through the streets…you get the idea. They also have a smattering of talks overlaying psychotherapeutic theories on the works of various earlier artists (so they can’t argue, I suppose), as well as one or two discussions about First-Peoples’ approaches to emotional healing (wherein creativity and spirituality were more likely to mix).
Do you detect a hint of cynicism here? (who me?)
I’ve long disdained the myth (my term) that creative people are more likely than the general population to be “mad,” or suffering from mental illness, or the converse: that the mentally ill are more likely than the general population to be creative. For the past 20+ years I’ve worked with creative people as well as in community mental health clinics, where I’ve seen the entire gamut of diagnoses and a very wide range of individuals (age, size, race, ethnicity, religion, gender, political leaning, etc.). While there were certainly some very creative folks that sat across the therapy room from me, I seriously doubt the percentage was higher than if I’d been sitting in a large restaurant, or Grand Central Station. I ran a writing group for a clinic that served the recently-detoxed substance abuse population of Brooklyn, NY. Some absolutely brilliant pieces came out the ink end of their pens, but so did some poorly written work.
Last week the New York Times printed an article about this topic. They came to a similar conclusion: that no, you don’t need a mental health diagnosis---or the symptoms---to be creative. And mental illness is not a prerequisite for creativity. A number of highly successful writers reported that they would have been even more productive without the ups and downs of bipolar disorder; or the periodic, devastating inability to accomplish anything resulting from severe depression; or the fear of creating something imperfect stemming from anxiety.
So what does it take in order to be creative that has fed the myth of creativity-and-madness?
In talking with my friend (and struggling writer) Rose Marie, I came upon the theory that creativity requires an intense connection to the experience of life. The courage, I’d say (see previous blog on this topic), to let your defenses down and allow yourself to really feel the world around you, the people around you, the emotions and reactions and beliefs and energies that are present. Sometimes these are heart-wrenchingly sad, sometimes quake-in-the-boots scary, sometimes gut-shakingly funny.
Rather than requiring “madness,” which in all its forms distorts how we experience life, creativity requires strength, opening to intense emotion and thought, reaching our center, the clarity of hope and possibility. Creativity is more "magic" than "madness": you put life in one end and out the other comes a poem, a dance, a painting, a statue. Or like alchemy: put in base metals and produce the gold.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, arguments, questions about this topic! Perhaps your experience proves me wrong? Perhaps you’ve struggled with one or the other side of creativity-and-madness in your life? Please share your thoughts---whatever they are. Thanks!
--Batya
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Juggling, or Time Management
First of all, sorry for the late posting.
UPositive News
Drollerie Press has accepted my short story, "Mr. Wolffe's Side of the Story," for publication in their Little Red Riding Hood anthology! Check out their website, http://www.drolleriepress.com/. I'll let you all know pub date when I get it.
I swear, I swear, I swear, UPositive.com is almost up and running!
My CD, UPositive Life Coaching's Relaxation Technique, is hot off the soundboard! It'll be available for $9.99 (download; plus mailing for hard copy snail mail) on the website. After using the process a few times, your body will remember the relaxed state and you'll be able to reach it in seconds! Thank you, Tom Roady (http://www.tomroady.com/) and Big Bang Theory Studio for the excellent job and friendship!
With the expert help of Lance Yelvington (http://www.cybercountry.com/), the first two videos will be ready for the Website about when it goes live. Each month www.UPositive.com features a creativity challenge (with prize) and a goal attainment tip (May: fun). I hope you'll visit the Website more than once a month, but come by at least that often to enter the contest!
Juggling
Elysabeth, my favorite cyberperson and great support---if you've read comments on this blog, you're familiar with her---just challenged me to address the issue of time management, or, more artistically expressed, tick-tock juggling. And a very timely topic it is (couldn't resist). In June, I'll be presenting a two-part workshop through the Songwriter's Guild of America (http://www.songwritersguild.com/) on Time Management for Creative People.
I'm not going to give it all away here---not enough time, and I want you all to come to the workshop! But I'll chat a bit about some of the balls that we keep in the air (or try to) and add some pointers. Anything you would like to add, suggest, ask, challenge...please feel free to post your comments!
Similarities between juggling and time management: (1) We all want to juggle lots of balls at once; we all have busy lives, with family, friends, career, hobbies, free time, creative pursuits, health, mundane tasks, meals, sleep, TV, and relaxation (I'm sure I've forgotten things, like dancing and gardening and jousting and Aunt Millie's 80th birthday). (2) We need to start with one ball in the air, then add the next, then the next, then the next....not throw them all up at once and expect them to stay airborne immediately. (3) Sometimes a ball falls to the ground, usually through no fault of our own but due to the force of gravity and the weight of lots of objects.
Differences between juggling and time management: (1) We are human and balls are different from people, responsibilities, and dreams. (2) The people, responsibilities, and dreams we try to juggle are of different weights, or importance; it's much harder to keep unequal objects flying around than to juggle balls of the same weight and size. (3) Sometimes something falls; with juggling balls, that's not catastrophic: with our lives, sometimes it is.
UPositive News
Drollerie Press has accepted my short story, "Mr. Wolffe's Side of the Story," for publication in their Little Red Riding Hood anthology! Check out their website, http://www.drolleriepress.com/. I'll let you all know pub date when I get it.
I swear, I swear, I swear, UPositive.com is almost up and running!
My CD, UPositive Life Coaching's Relaxation Technique, is hot off the soundboard! It'll be available for $9.99 (download; plus mailing for hard copy snail mail) on the website. After using the process a few times, your body will remember the relaxed state and you'll be able to reach it in seconds! Thank you, Tom Roady (http://www.tomroady.com/) and Big Bang Theory Studio for the excellent job and friendship!
With the expert help of Lance Yelvington (http://www.cybercountry.com/), the first two videos will be ready for the Website about when it goes live. Each month www.UPositive.com features a creativity challenge (with prize) and a goal attainment tip (May: fun). I hope you'll visit the Website more than once a month, but come by at least that often to enter the contest!
Juggling
Elysabeth, my favorite cyberperson and great support---if you've read comments on this blog, you're familiar with her---just challenged me to address the issue of time management, or, more artistically expressed, tick-tock juggling. And a very timely topic it is (couldn't resist). In June, I'll be presenting a two-part workshop through the Songwriter's Guild of America (http://www.songwritersguild.com/) on Time Management for Creative People.
I'm not going to give it all away here---not enough time, and I want you all to come to the workshop! But I'll chat a bit about some of the balls that we keep in the air (or try to) and add some pointers. Anything you would like to add, suggest, ask, challenge...please feel free to post your comments!
Similarities between juggling and time management: (1) We all want to juggle lots of balls at once; we all have busy lives, with family, friends, career, hobbies, free time, creative pursuits, health, mundane tasks, meals, sleep, TV, and relaxation (I'm sure I've forgotten things, like dancing and gardening and jousting and Aunt Millie's 80th birthday). (2) We need to start with one ball in the air, then add the next, then the next, then the next....not throw them all up at once and expect them to stay airborne immediately. (3) Sometimes a ball falls to the ground, usually through no fault of our own but due to the force of gravity and the weight of lots of objects.
Differences between juggling and time management: (1) We are human and balls are different from people, responsibilities, and dreams. (2) The people, responsibilities, and dreams we try to juggle are of different weights, or importance; it's much harder to keep unequal objects flying around than to juggle balls of the same weight and size. (3) Sometimes something falls; with juggling balls, that's not catastrophic: with our lives, sometimes it is.
One of the essential keys to time management, and juggling, is to learn your own rhythms. Do you gain more momentum and accomplish more by getting small, easy tasks out of the way first, building success that then fuels the 'big jobs'? Or do you never get to the big jobs if you start with the small ones? Do you accomplish more by tackling the biggest, most pressing task and getting it out of the way when you're still fresh in the morning?
What time of day is your most productive? When do you have the most energy; when is your mind most awake? (This can change over the years, so don't expect it to be same for you at age 21 and then at age 52.) Try to schedule the priorities during that time.
Are there annoying steps that you need to tackle before getting to the good stuff? Can you set up a reward for yourself so those are accomplished? Everything has a sequence; if you're tackling the end of the sequence before you accomplish the middle steps, you're not managing time very well, and you'll end up spending more of it cleaning up the mistakes that are made.
Are there days when you wake up ready to tackle long lists of numbers and other days when adding two plus two scares the bedoodles out of you? Can you take advantage of these variations in yourself and grab the tasks you're in the mood for? (Be careful of objective deadlines---those have to be met first.)
There's a lot more to be considered in managing time, juggling the clock and all the to-dos of attaining your goals. Hopefully, these thoughts and questions will improve how you're already using time!
Comments, thoughts, questions, all appreciated!
--Batya
Monday, April 21, 2008
Transitions
This Saturday, April 26, from 9 till 2, is the long-awaited health fair at the Bellevue Y---hope to see you there!
The UPositive Website is, I promise, in the works and almost ready. Can’t wait to send out the announcement about it. An e-newsletter will be coming at about the same time.
Transitions. Do we love them or do we hate them? They’re necessary to get from place A to place B, and when we set goals, it’s important to consider how change occurs.
Preparation is an essential step in any process. The more effort you put into preparation, the more powerful the step when you’re ready to take it. Native Americans, for instance, who practice the Sun Dance start months if not years before getting ready physically and spiritually for the sacred ordeal. The Sun Dance is often done for purification, to rid oneself of the past before stepping into the future.
Taking the time to assess where you’re coming from, what’s held you prisoner, what’s created obstacles to your success before now is essential before planning steps to achieve new goals. Some of those obstacles must be addressed before they rear their ugly heads again, stopping you before you get very far. Including ways to face your inner and outer demons in your planning helps immensely in reaching your goals.
The transition from past to present is rarely comfortable. It’s the in-between. The not-here-anymore but not-yet-there-either stage. It feels narrow and constricting. You’re ready for action but can’t yet take it. You want to break free and jump ahead to race for your finish line.
Remember the turtle who won the race with the hare? Sometimes it's the person who takes the necessary time to do what must be done who wins in the end. Don’t shortcut the process by skipping the all-important transition from what’s behind you to what’s in front of you. Take the time now to assess, and to add what you need to do to avoid past mistakes or problems to your To-DoAble list.
And then---Go for your Goal!!
--Batya
The UPositive Website is, I promise, in the works and almost ready. Can’t wait to send out the announcement about it. An e-newsletter will be coming at about the same time.
Transitions. Do we love them or do we hate them? They’re necessary to get from place A to place B, and when we set goals, it’s important to consider how change occurs.
Preparation is an essential step in any process. The more effort you put into preparation, the more powerful the step when you’re ready to take it. Native Americans, for instance, who practice the Sun Dance start months if not years before getting ready physically and spiritually for the sacred ordeal. The Sun Dance is often done for purification, to rid oneself of the past before stepping into the future.
Taking the time to assess where you’re coming from, what’s held you prisoner, what’s created obstacles to your success before now is essential before planning steps to achieve new goals. Some of those obstacles must be addressed before they rear their ugly heads again, stopping you before you get very far. Including ways to face your inner and outer demons in your planning helps immensely in reaching your goals.
The transition from past to present is rarely comfortable. It’s the in-between. The not-here-anymore but not-yet-there-either stage. It feels narrow and constricting. You’re ready for action but can’t yet take it. You want to break free and jump ahead to race for your finish line.
Remember the turtle who won the race with the hare? Sometimes it's the person who takes the necessary time to do what must be done who wins in the end. Don’t shortcut the process by skipping the all-important transition from what’s behind you to what’s in front of you. Take the time now to assess, and to add what you need to do to avoid past mistakes or problems to your To-DoAble list.
And then---Go for your Goal!!
--Batya
Monday, April 14, 2008
Happenings and Wonderings
Announcements
A weekly goals support group begins May 13 at 6 pm. You can sign up and get the details at http://self-improvement.meetup.com/279/. This is a group for people ready to get past setting goals and move on to achieving them. You don’t have to have creative dreams to participate, but creative goals are very welcome. Please read more at the link.
In two hours on two Thursday evenings in June, you can improve your getting-things-done-in-a-24-hour-day skills. The Songwriter’s Guild of America has invited me back to present a second seminar: Time management for Creative People. Details and early registration are through calling Kimberly at (615) 742-9945 or email her at nash@songwritersguild.com.
Individual coaching sessions are available in May and June. You can email me at UPositive55@aol.com for more information.
www.UPositive.com, I am assured, will be up and running in the foreseeable future. There’ll be a celebration party at Starbuck’s in Belle Meade when that happens. Invitations forthcoming.
I’m Curious
I'm wondering if there isn't some parallel reality where all fictional characters, past, present, and future live: to write, all we need do is reach up into the storyether and grab someone, then sit them on the keyboard and let them tell what happens.
I’m not sure how else it happens---the magic of fiction. Where does the dream that evolves into a murder mystery originate? Or the character that grabs onto your awareness and refuses to let go, following you to Kroger’s and insisting on Cheddar cheese instead of the Gouda you usually buy? How are you suddenly watching a love scene on the wall of your shower when only a moment ago you were rinsing shampoo and reaching for the conditioner?
It isn’t only words or characters, either. I once attended a piano recital in Lincoln Center and found myself watching a 24-person cast of classical ballerinas dance an entire love story on the domed ceiling. I don’t even know how to begin choreographing this, and can only imagine that those who do know how experience this glory regularly. How wonderful to watch a tulip in the breeze and translate it to human movement. Or to smell garlic simmering in Aunt Katerina’s kitchen and translate that into an abstract sculpture.
Creativity is endless. There is always something new under the sun.
So I wonder why some people are open to these creative intrusions, or ready to reach out of the everyday into the imagination for them?
There are some who wander with connections to imaginary characters and are diagnosed with schizophrenia; others awarded with grants and prizes. What makes the difference?
What do you think?
--Batya
Monday, April 7, 2008
Moments
There are those defining moments in our lives that, though short in duration, effect us at such a depth that we are changed forever. Through twenty years of psychotherapy practice, I’m convinced that most of these moments occur in childhood; we spend the rest of our lives either proving them true or false, whether or not we remember the situations or have defined the messages we took from them. But these moments aren’t limited to childhood---they can occur at any time in our lives, turn us onto a detour, change our world-view, values, politics, religion, creativity, goals.
Recently, I remembered one of these moments from my childhood. At about eight or nine, I absorbed a message about the monetary worth of my creativity, actually, of my work in general. When the memory rose to the surface it wrenched me open; tears spewed from my gut; my self-definition lurched from its usual place within me a few degrees east (or maybe it was west). The tears didn’t last long, but the depth of the catharsis produced immediate, positive effect.
What have those moments been in your life? What situations have you been in that defined you as a creative being in the world? What moments valued or de-valued your creative esteem? How important have these moments been to your growth and success (or how much of an obstacle to your success have they been)? Did it make a difference when you realized or remembered or otherwise brought the memory to surface awareness? How have these moments affected your creative productivity?
Recently, I remembered one of these moments from my childhood. At about eight or nine, I absorbed a message about the monetary worth of my creativity, actually, of my work in general. When the memory rose to the surface it wrenched me open; tears spewed from my gut; my self-definition lurched from its usual place within me a few degrees east (or maybe it was west). The tears didn’t last long, but the depth of the catharsis produced immediate, positive effect.
What have those moments been in your life? What situations have you been in that defined you as a creative being in the world? What moments valued or de-valued your creative esteem? How important have these moments been to your growth and success (or how much of an obstacle to your success have they been)? Did it make a difference when you realized or remembered or otherwise brought the memory to surface awareness? How have these moments affected your creative productivity?
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Mourning Time
First, let me apologize for not posting this yesterday (Monday). Hopefully, it’ll be the exception to the self-imposed rule.
Second, let me assure you this blog is not about death, but about rejection, about small failures.
Yesterday I learned that a short story I’d submitted to an Internet writing contest hadn’t won. It wasn’t an important contest to me, and I didn’t think I had much chance right from the start. But when I learned the story had lost, like many other times my writing has been rejected, I felt a letdown. Someone had put a pin in my balloon of hope.
The stoics among us---even my Inner Stoic---says, “The best thing to do is turn around and send it out somewhere else.” Which I fully intend to do, but not right away.
The words “my story lost” uses the same word as “I lost my grandmother X years ago.” However we explain the difference to ourselves, the word is the same and our minds hear it in a similarly way. Just as I took the time to mourn the “loss” of my grandmother, I think it’s important to take some time to mourn the loss of our works “losing” a contest, a judging for inclusion in an exhibit, the loss of a job opportunity we hoped for, the loss of an advertising account.
So how do we do it and move on? How do we get over it as quickly as possible so that we can send the story out again, or enter a photograph in a showing, or apply for the next job on our list?
Anyone reading this who knows me, can guess that I’m going to include the Right Brain in the process, as well as the Left.
I’ll share my process, and I hope all my readers will share theirs, also.
Rant and rave. (Right Brain) “Those stupid people! They don’t know good writing when they see it. Probably the dude’s brother won!” I allow this for about five minutes, no longer.
Calm myself down and remind myself about the contest specifics. (Left Brain) Often I realize in retrospect that maybe my story didn’t even fit their requirements. (In this particular case, although they said only a short reference of any kind to Australia or something Australian would suffice, all three winners wrote in Australian---which is a very different language than American, with references in every sentence, dialect, location, setting, etc.)
Next, I read the winning entries. (Left Brain) (I thought one was extremely well-written, although it was supposed to be a mystery and though it contained a crime, there was no mystery to it at all; the other two seemed to be different versions of the same story, written similarly, but bursting with Australianisms.)
Then I comfort myself with all that I’ve learned. (Right Brain)
I wait at least 24 hours, sometimes 48 hours, before revisiting my own story. Then I reread it, looking for ways to improve it---not for that contest but for its own sake. (Left and Right Brains working together)
Finally, it’s time to move on. Either send that story out again or put it aside and get to work on something else.
I’ve given myself time to vent, allowed my inner angst a little bit of space so it doesn’t have to take a whole lot when I’m not looking, I’ve learned something about contests (at least that one), read a good story, hopefully improved my own story, and moved on.
I’ll never know if my story wasn’t chosen because it wasn’t well-written, or because it didn’t have enough Australia in it. But now it doesn’t matter.
How do you deal with rejection and “loss” in your creative life? In striving for what you want even in the non-creative arenas?
---Batya
Second, let me assure you this blog is not about death, but about rejection, about small failures.
Yesterday I learned that a short story I’d submitted to an Internet writing contest hadn’t won. It wasn’t an important contest to me, and I didn’t think I had much chance right from the start. But when I learned the story had lost, like many other times my writing has been rejected, I felt a letdown. Someone had put a pin in my balloon of hope.
The stoics among us---even my Inner Stoic---says, “The best thing to do is turn around and send it out somewhere else.” Which I fully intend to do, but not right away.
The words “my story lost” uses the same word as “I lost my grandmother X years ago.” However we explain the difference to ourselves, the word is the same and our minds hear it in a similarly way. Just as I took the time to mourn the “loss” of my grandmother, I think it’s important to take some time to mourn the loss of our works “losing” a contest, a judging for inclusion in an exhibit, the loss of a job opportunity we hoped for, the loss of an advertising account.
So how do we do it and move on? How do we get over it as quickly as possible so that we can send the story out again, or enter a photograph in a showing, or apply for the next job on our list?
Anyone reading this who knows me, can guess that I’m going to include the Right Brain in the process, as well as the Left.
I’ll share my process, and I hope all my readers will share theirs, also.
Rant and rave. (Right Brain) “Those stupid people! They don’t know good writing when they see it. Probably the dude’s brother won!” I allow this for about five minutes, no longer.
Calm myself down and remind myself about the contest specifics. (Left Brain) Often I realize in retrospect that maybe my story didn’t even fit their requirements. (In this particular case, although they said only a short reference of any kind to Australia or something Australian would suffice, all three winners wrote in Australian---which is a very different language than American, with references in every sentence, dialect, location, setting, etc.)
Next, I read the winning entries. (Left Brain) (I thought one was extremely well-written, although it was supposed to be a mystery and though it contained a crime, there was no mystery to it at all; the other two seemed to be different versions of the same story, written similarly, but bursting with Australianisms.)
Then I comfort myself with all that I’ve learned. (Right Brain)
I wait at least 24 hours, sometimes 48 hours, before revisiting my own story. Then I reread it, looking for ways to improve it---not for that contest but for its own sake. (Left and Right Brains working together)
Finally, it’s time to move on. Either send that story out again or put it aside and get to work on something else.
I’ve given myself time to vent, allowed my inner angst a little bit of space so it doesn’t have to take a whole lot when I’m not looking, I’ve learned something about contests (at least that one), read a good story, hopefully improved my own story, and moved on.
I’ll never know if my story wasn’t chosen because it wasn’t well-written, or because it didn’t have enough Australia in it. But now it doesn’t matter.
How do you deal with rejection and “loss” in your creative life? In striving for what you want even in the non-creative arenas?
---Batya
Monday, March 24, 2008
Critiques---To Get or Not to Get, That is the Question
Allow me to start with a story, please.
As a writing major in undergraduate school I had two professors; I adored both of them--Matt and Milt. They both liked me, so no problem there. However, they disliked each other. Possible reasons for this are irrelevant to this post, so I'll spare you. After a while, I noticed a pattern with my writing and their critiques, and I decided to check it out.
At the time, poetry was my genre-of-choice, so I prepared the same 10 poems and gave each professor a copy. Since they really didn't talk to each other much, there was little chance of them figuring out my test.
I waited. I brewed. I chewed my fingernails. I walked in circles. I ate chocolate. Finally, the verdict came in and I received my critiques on the poems.
Matt liked five of the 10 poems. Milt liked the other five. Go figure.
But I learned a really important lesson early on in my writing career: a critique is valuable, but it isn't 'the final and only word' on the subject.
Although I'm addressing writing at present, the same goes for any feedback you might get---photography, dance, visual art, melodies, advertising copy, anything creative.
Creative output is subjective. The response to it is subjective. Every viewpoint is 'right'---which doesn't make yours 'wrong.'
The value of critique is to get feedback, not judgment. If Matt and Milt had both liked the same five poems---or even two of the same poems and trashed the rest---I'd have had some incredibly useful information. And two excellent poems.
When you have a number of people read (or look at) your work, and they agree on the same problem---then it's time to fix something. If they disagree, then take all the criticism back home, let it sit a few days, or at least hours, and approach your piece with a clear mind. See how the suggestions fit with your own feelings and vision of your work.
Don't change something just because another person tells you to---no matter who that person is. Not even your mother, though if yours is like mine, she's probably right!
YOU, and only you, are the final word on your creative work.
I belong to a number of critiquing groups. They are always helpful. But I don't make every change that everyone suggests. First of all, that's impossible, as people, like Matt and Milt, disagree. Secondly, because I don't agree with all of the suggestions. And, thirdly, I'm stubborn.
There's a scene in one of my murder mysteries that most of my readers dislike. It's in the middle of the book; I hadn't planned it; the characters did it even when I wanted them to stop; it's not pretty. But I'm not ready to take it out, mostly because it was so organic to the process of the story as it was being written. Will I let it kill a publishing deal? No way. When a potential publisher says, 'take the *&^in' scene out'---trust me, it will be in shreds on my office floor. But until then, it stays. Because I'm the writer---and I say so.
So, yes, go get critiqued. From people you respect. From people who do your same art and who are better than you are at it. From people who know your artform. From people with similar world-views and life-agendas.
Then take all the suggestions home. Put them aside. Take a bubble bath. Go dance. Have chocolate. And the next day, spread them all out across your desk and pick and choose the ones that make the best sense and feel right and make your work even more yours.
--Batya
As a writing major in undergraduate school I had two professors; I adored both of them--Matt and Milt. They both liked me, so no problem there. However, they disliked each other. Possible reasons for this are irrelevant to this post, so I'll spare you. After a while, I noticed a pattern with my writing and their critiques, and I decided to check it out.
At the time, poetry was my genre-of-choice, so I prepared the same 10 poems and gave each professor a copy. Since they really didn't talk to each other much, there was little chance of them figuring out my test.
I waited. I brewed. I chewed my fingernails. I walked in circles. I ate chocolate. Finally, the verdict came in and I received my critiques on the poems.
Matt liked five of the 10 poems. Milt liked the other five. Go figure.
But I learned a really important lesson early on in my writing career: a critique is valuable, but it isn't 'the final and only word' on the subject.
Although I'm addressing writing at present, the same goes for any feedback you might get---photography, dance, visual art, melodies, advertising copy, anything creative.
Creative output is subjective. The response to it is subjective. Every viewpoint is 'right'---which doesn't make yours 'wrong.'
The value of critique is to get feedback, not judgment. If Matt and Milt had both liked the same five poems---or even two of the same poems and trashed the rest---I'd have had some incredibly useful information. And two excellent poems.
When you have a number of people read (or look at) your work, and they agree on the same problem---then it's time to fix something. If they disagree, then take all the criticism back home, let it sit a few days, or at least hours, and approach your piece with a clear mind. See how the suggestions fit with your own feelings and vision of your work.
Don't change something just because another person tells you to---no matter who that person is. Not even your mother, though if yours is like mine, she's probably right!
YOU, and only you, are the final word on your creative work.
I belong to a number of critiquing groups. They are always helpful. But I don't make every change that everyone suggests. First of all, that's impossible, as people, like Matt and Milt, disagree. Secondly, because I don't agree with all of the suggestions. And, thirdly, I'm stubborn.
There's a scene in one of my murder mysteries that most of my readers dislike. It's in the middle of the book; I hadn't planned it; the characters did it even when I wanted them to stop; it's not pretty. But I'm not ready to take it out, mostly because it was so organic to the process of the story as it was being written. Will I let it kill a publishing deal? No way. When a potential publisher says, 'take the *&^in' scene out'---trust me, it will be in shreds on my office floor. But until then, it stays. Because I'm the writer---and I say so.
So, yes, go get critiqued. From people you respect. From people who do your same art and who are better than you are at it. From people who know your artform. From people with similar world-views and life-agendas.
Then take all the suggestions home. Put them aside. Take a bubble bath. Go dance. Have chocolate. And the next day, spread them all out across your desk and pick and choose the ones that make the best sense and feel right and make your work even more yours.
--Batya
Monday, March 17, 2008
Courage and Creativity, Part II
First, Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Let’s all do a jig in celebration. Let’s all write/dance/paint with leprechauns!
In my blog on 2/18, I raised the question, paraphrased here, What is courageous about creativity? It took me a while, but here’s my personal answer.
Creativity is the act of bringing something new forth from the materials/emotions/situations in which we live. The form might well be almost infinite, in a number of realms: language, movement, shape, color, taste, even odor (there’s a word I can’t think of this moment for perfume-makers).
The feeling of safety comes, most often, from familiarity and trust (trust building, also, from familiarity and consistency).
As creative people, we choose to move from moments of “safety,” of being in the known, the already experienced, into the unknown. Like the “Fool” in the Tarot deck, carrying the form of our creativity in our hobo-sacks, we step off the ledge of safety into the unknown. The “Fool” often represents new beginnings in a Tarot reading. It is safe to say, then, that there’s at least a bit of foolishness in the creative act.
It takes a lot of courage to play the Fool.
It takes a lot of courage to step into the unknown.
It takes a lot of courage to risk failure---and a lot of courage to risk success.
Taking on an even larger edge of the discussion…In the Western world in which we live, we come from traditions (Judaism, Islam, Christianity) in which the Deity has created the world, and the entire population of it. So ”creativity” is seen or experienced in a deep, learned level, as a God-act.
How much courage it takes to step into the realm of God-action!
Does that make us “gods”? No, I don’t think so. Does it make us more “godlike”? In a certain sense, yes.
I, personally, and absolutely, believe that creativity is a sacred act. No matter what we’re creating. (Yes, I believe there can be exceptions to this statement.)
And it takes a lot of courage to make sacred acts.
Sci-fi writers might understand this: creating whole new worlds, sometimes life-forms that didn’t exist until they put them on paper or screen. But they’re not the only ones. We all feel that sense of expanding, of our hearts opening as well as our minds as new ideas, shapes, motions, connections fill us as we create.
It takes courage to remain open to new possibilities. It takes even more courage to form those ideas and thoughts into a tangible art form---of any kind.
And so we risk---our selves, our sanity, our safety, our security---to walk the path of creativity. Without the risk, everything would stay exactly the same. No change. Stasis. Life requires change, growth. It’s part of the natural cycle. Those of us who are courageous enough to participate in the continuing creation of the world around us keep life happening. We are contributing to the future of life on the planet we live on just by being brave enough o create. We are courageous enough to keep the spark of change going, to keep the creation of the world moving forward.
Creativity is being courageous enough to open ourselves to possibility, to newness, to what-comes-next.
Even in its smallest forms of expression, creativity is a courageous act.
I’d love to read the thoughts of others on this (or other) topics about creativity. Please blog back!
--Batya
In my blog on 2/18, I raised the question, paraphrased here, What is courageous about creativity? It took me a while, but here’s my personal answer.
Creativity is the act of bringing something new forth from the materials/emotions/situations in which we live. The form might well be almost infinite, in a number of realms: language, movement, shape, color, taste, even odor (there’s a word I can’t think of this moment for perfume-makers).
The feeling of safety comes, most often, from familiarity and trust (trust building, also, from familiarity and consistency).
As creative people, we choose to move from moments of “safety,” of being in the known, the already experienced, into the unknown. Like the “Fool” in the Tarot deck, carrying the form of our creativity in our hobo-sacks, we step off the ledge of safety into the unknown. The “Fool” often represents new beginnings in a Tarot reading. It is safe to say, then, that there’s at least a bit of foolishness in the creative act.
It takes a lot of courage to play the Fool.
It takes a lot of courage to step into the unknown.
It takes a lot of courage to risk failure---and a lot of courage to risk success.
Taking on an even larger edge of the discussion…In the Western world in which we live, we come from traditions (Judaism, Islam, Christianity) in which the Deity has created the world, and the entire population of it. So ”creativity” is seen or experienced in a deep, learned level, as a God-act.
How much courage it takes to step into the realm of God-action!
Does that make us “gods”? No, I don’t think so. Does it make us more “godlike”? In a certain sense, yes.
I, personally, and absolutely, believe that creativity is a sacred act. No matter what we’re creating. (Yes, I believe there can be exceptions to this statement.)
And it takes a lot of courage to make sacred acts.
Sci-fi writers might understand this: creating whole new worlds, sometimes life-forms that didn’t exist until they put them on paper or screen. But they’re not the only ones. We all feel that sense of expanding, of our hearts opening as well as our minds as new ideas, shapes, motions, connections fill us as we create.
It takes courage to remain open to new possibilities. It takes even more courage to form those ideas and thoughts into a tangible art form---of any kind.
And so we risk---our selves, our sanity, our safety, our security---to walk the path of creativity. Without the risk, everything would stay exactly the same. No change. Stasis. Life requires change, growth. It’s part of the natural cycle. Those of us who are courageous enough to participate in the continuing creation of the world around us keep life happening. We are contributing to the future of life on the planet we live on just by being brave enough o create. We are courageous enough to keep the spark of change going, to keep the creation of the world moving forward.
Creativity is being courageous enough to open ourselves to possibility, to newness, to what-comes-next.
Even in its smallest forms of expression, creativity is a courageous act.
I’d love to read the thoughts of others on this (or other) topics about creativity. Please blog back!
--Batya
Monday, March 10, 2008
Will the Thrill
(First---thank you to Kindra, a new friend/colleague who visited me at the Health Fair yesterday. I really appreciated her being there.)
A writer on one of the forums I belong to opened a discussion today about losing the excitement of his novel when he worked on the research for it. This made me think about other conversations I’ve had with clients, friends, and, yes, even myself, about losing enthusiasm when it comes to the small daily steps of accomplishing our goals.
Looking at the end result of my vision…say, seeing my mystery series on the shelf at Borders, always fills me with excitement. I can close my eyes and visualize just where it will be. I can smell the crispness of the first printing, hear the just-perceptible crack of the spine as I open it to scratch my pen across the front page with my very first autograph. Ahhhhh…that feels so good! So real! So inspiring! (In fact, I’m tempted to end this blog here and start editing the book!)
It’s an empowering visualization---and we all have them for our goals (at least those of us who have stopped to work on and set our goals).
But when it comes to getting those big visions down to “It’s Monday morning and today I have to read a chapter in this really dry book on Victorian etiquette in rural Britain and I don’t want to,” we wonder where all that excitement went.
Sometimes the small, daily steps to the big, overall goal are left-brain, while the excitement and the visualization of the goal are right-brain. We get to Monday…or Tuesday…and need to accomplish the left-brain activity to achieve the right-brain exciting vision. And we’re totally at a lack for motivation, excitement, energy, empowerment…you name it. We want another cup of coffee. We suddenly remember the bathroom needs cleaning. There’s one more dust bunny behind the couch.
What went wrong?
What went wrong is that we left our right brain relishing in the exciting visualization and handed all the rest of getting-there to the left brain. The left brain doesn’t hold emotions. The left brain can’t get excited, even if it wants to.
The solution: get the right brain involved in the left-brain daily to-dos.
How? Connect back to your original visualization. Feel the excitement of success at the goal again! Refresh yourself with all the sensory connections you originally felt when choosing the goal.
Then use that excitement to empower the left brain to accomplish all those daily to-dos that will get you to the goal your right brain chose originally.
The hardest part of this process is to remember to do it. After a while, if you practice it regularly, reconnecting to that right-brain excitement will come naturally.
And the everyday to-do list will look like a page of check-marks!
Now…I’m off to edit a murder story! How about you?
--Batya
A writer on one of the forums I belong to opened a discussion today about losing the excitement of his novel when he worked on the research for it. This made me think about other conversations I’ve had with clients, friends, and, yes, even myself, about losing enthusiasm when it comes to the small daily steps of accomplishing our goals.
Looking at the end result of my vision…say, seeing my mystery series on the shelf at Borders, always fills me with excitement. I can close my eyes and visualize just where it will be. I can smell the crispness of the first printing, hear the just-perceptible crack of the spine as I open it to scratch my pen across the front page with my very first autograph. Ahhhhh…that feels so good! So real! So inspiring! (In fact, I’m tempted to end this blog here and start editing the book!)
It’s an empowering visualization---and we all have them for our goals (at least those of us who have stopped to work on and set our goals).
But when it comes to getting those big visions down to “It’s Monday morning and today I have to read a chapter in this really dry book on Victorian etiquette in rural Britain and I don’t want to,” we wonder where all that excitement went.
Sometimes the small, daily steps to the big, overall goal are left-brain, while the excitement and the visualization of the goal are right-brain. We get to Monday…or Tuesday…and need to accomplish the left-brain activity to achieve the right-brain exciting vision. And we’re totally at a lack for motivation, excitement, energy, empowerment…you name it. We want another cup of coffee. We suddenly remember the bathroom needs cleaning. There’s one more dust bunny behind the couch.
What went wrong?
What went wrong is that we left our right brain relishing in the exciting visualization and handed all the rest of getting-there to the left brain. The left brain doesn’t hold emotions. The left brain can’t get excited, even if it wants to.
The solution: get the right brain involved in the left-brain daily to-dos.
How? Connect back to your original visualization. Feel the excitement of success at the goal again! Refresh yourself with all the sensory connections you originally felt when choosing the goal.
Then use that excitement to empower the left brain to accomplish all those daily to-dos that will get you to the goal your right brain chose originally.
The hardest part of this process is to remember to do it. After a while, if you practice it regularly, reconnecting to that right-brain excitement will come naturally.
And the everyday to-do list will look like a page of check-marks!
Now…I’m off to edit a murder story! How about you?
--Batya
Monday, March 3, 2008
Celebrations and Goal Attainment
Health Fair
What are you doing Sunday, March 9, from 1-4 pm? (remember to change your clocks!) Stop by to say hello me at the Health Fair at the Jewish Community Center (off Hwy. 70S near the 70/100 split)---this is a big one and really will happen (barring tornado, tsunami, ice storm, or the landing of aliens from another galaxy). I’ll be handing out literature, calendars, and offering FREE seminars to three lucky raffle winners! Come on by and enter!
Map for JCC: http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?searchtype=address&country=US&addtohistory=&searchtab=home&formtype=address&popflag=0&latitude=&longitude=&name=&phone=&level=&cat=&address=801+Percy+Warner+Boulevard&city=Nashville&state=TN&zipcode=37205
Celebrations and Goal-Attainment
This week---Thursday, March 6---I celebrate my half birthday!
A half birthday? What’s that?
Years ago I noticed that the second half of my year was always better than the first half (it may have something to do with the beginning of spring, increased sunlight, crocuses and tulips in bloom), so I decided, hey, it’s my birthday---I can celebrate it however I want---in halves, quarters, whatever! And, there’s no law against it!
Celebration is a very important part of a healthy life. The world throws us enough muck along the way that we need to balance it out through celebrating. Our culture is particularly noncreative in celebrations: We have some fun fireworks on July 4, great decorations and store sales around Christmastime, some late-night revelries on New Year’s Eve, green beer on St. Patrick’s Day, parades on Memorial Day (if you’re lucky) and then you get to celebrate your birthday and anniversary. There are the one-time celebrations, also, such as graduation or a wedding. If you’re Jewish you get a Bar- or Bat-mitzvah, and Catholics have First Communions. Other than those paltry few, there’s not a whole lot of partying goin’ round.
What’s most important about celebrations is that they serve as acknowledgements, life markers. We’ve made it through another year of life…or marriage. We deserve an award! Look, we finally got through the grind of school! We’ve made it! We’ve reached some particular goal!
So many of us set our goals and then plod on and on toward them. We rarely stop to see how far we’ve come compared to where we were before. Maybe we’re afraid that the hobgoblins of the past…the anchors and cement-block slippers and bogeymen fears will rear their ugly heads and get in our way again. Maybe we’re just too busy moving forward to take a moment to look back.
I think the first step in setting and attaining goals is to take a good, long look at where we’ve already been---and then to stop and celebrate how far we’ve already come! To acknowledge ourselves for making it through all the trials and tribulations and stresses and obstacles we’ve encountered. And, most important, to congratulate ourselves for getting to today!
After all, how can you set a map to your future and plan the direction to take if you don’t know where you’re starting?
So take a few moments and lift the mirror. Take a long look at the road behind you. Pat yourself on the back! Shake your own hand! Have a chocolate bon-bon! Light a candle and make a wish! Do something that is celebratory to acknowledge your success in getting to today!
Just like in Alice-in-Wonderland---celebrate your Un-Birthday!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InSn2BLDwfQ http://www.nonsenselit.org/carroll/fc0341/
Step number two: Plan some celebrations on the way to your goals. When I get my first chapter written, I’m going to hold a tea party! When I reach five new clients, I’ll take myself to dinner! When I get my business loan, I’ll buy that beautiful desk lamp!
And for the ‘little’ steps, especially the hard ones---find a mini-celebration for yourself. Pat yourself on the head (when no one’s looking), shake your own hand, do a Happy Dance around your desk…whatever works for you.
These are all moments of self-acknowledgement, of positive feedback. Positive feedback is the single most motivating and inspirational force I know (well, second…the possibility of meeting Robert Redford is the first most motivating and inspirational force I know, personally).
And, by all means---celebrate your half-birthday!
What sorts of celebrations, large or small, do you do? What provides positive feedback that motivates and inspires you in continuing toward your goals? Please feel free to share your thoughts here!
--Batya
What are you doing Sunday, March 9, from 1-4 pm? (remember to change your clocks!) Stop by to say hello me at the Health Fair at the Jewish Community Center (off Hwy. 70S near the 70/100 split)---this is a big one and really will happen (barring tornado, tsunami, ice storm, or the landing of aliens from another galaxy). I’ll be handing out literature, calendars, and offering FREE seminars to three lucky raffle winners! Come on by and enter!
Map for JCC: http://www.mapquest.com/maps/map.adp?searchtype=address&country=US&addtohistory=&searchtab=home&formtype=address&popflag=0&latitude=&longitude=&name=&phone=&level=&cat=&address=801+Percy+Warner+Boulevard&city=Nashville&state=TN&zipcode=37205
Celebrations and Goal-Attainment
This week---Thursday, March 6---I celebrate my half birthday!
A half birthday? What’s that?
Years ago I noticed that the second half of my year was always better than the first half (it may have something to do with the beginning of spring, increased sunlight, crocuses and tulips in bloom), so I decided, hey, it’s my birthday---I can celebrate it however I want---in halves, quarters, whatever! And, there’s no law against it!
Celebration is a very important part of a healthy life. The world throws us enough muck along the way that we need to balance it out through celebrating. Our culture is particularly noncreative in celebrations: We have some fun fireworks on July 4, great decorations and store sales around Christmastime, some late-night revelries on New Year’s Eve, green beer on St. Patrick’s Day, parades on Memorial Day (if you’re lucky) and then you get to celebrate your birthday and anniversary. There are the one-time celebrations, also, such as graduation or a wedding. If you’re Jewish you get a Bar- or Bat-mitzvah, and Catholics have First Communions. Other than those paltry few, there’s not a whole lot of partying goin’ round.
What’s most important about celebrations is that they serve as acknowledgements, life markers. We’ve made it through another year of life…or marriage. We deserve an award! Look, we finally got through the grind of school! We’ve made it! We’ve reached some particular goal!
So many of us set our goals and then plod on and on toward them. We rarely stop to see how far we’ve come compared to where we were before. Maybe we’re afraid that the hobgoblins of the past…the anchors and cement-block slippers and bogeymen fears will rear their ugly heads and get in our way again. Maybe we’re just too busy moving forward to take a moment to look back.
I think the first step in setting and attaining goals is to take a good, long look at where we’ve already been---and then to stop and celebrate how far we’ve already come! To acknowledge ourselves for making it through all the trials and tribulations and stresses and obstacles we’ve encountered. And, most important, to congratulate ourselves for getting to today!
After all, how can you set a map to your future and plan the direction to take if you don’t know where you’re starting?
So take a few moments and lift the mirror. Take a long look at the road behind you. Pat yourself on the back! Shake your own hand! Have a chocolate bon-bon! Light a candle and make a wish! Do something that is celebratory to acknowledge your success in getting to today!
Just like in Alice-in-Wonderland---celebrate your Un-Birthday!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InSn2BLDwfQ http://www.nonsenselit.org/carroll/fc0341/
Step number two: Plan some celebrations on the way to your goals. When I get my first chapter written, I’m going to hold a tea party! When I reach five new clients, I’ll take myself to dinner! When I get my business loan, I’ll buy that beautiful desk lamp!
And for the ‘little’ steps, especially the hard ones---find a mini-celebration for yourself. Pat yourself on the head (when no one’s looking), shake your own hand, do a Happy Dance around your desk…whatever works for you.
These are all moments of self-acknowledgement, of positive feedback. Positive feedback is the single most motivating and inspirational force I know (well, second…the possibility of meeting Robert Redford is the first most motivating and inspirational force I know, personally).
And, by all means---celebrate your half-birthday!
What sorts of celebrations, large or small, do you do? What provides positive feedback that motivates and inspires you in continuing toward your goals? Please feel free to share your thoughts here!
--Batya
Monday, February 25, 2008
Psychotherapy vs Life Coaching: Which is for you?
A number of people have been asking me, “Why two businesses? What’s the difference between Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy and UPositive Life Coaching?” So I thought this would be a good place to try to clarify it.
As a licensed psychotherapist (LCSW), I am well trained to help you explore deep emotional issues, work through relationship problems, and recover from physical/sexual/emotional abuse. My Master’s level education as well as more than 15 years in the field, provides me with the expertise to help you change your life from the inside out.
In Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy sessions we explore the contributing factors to your relationship with the world and the people around you; address issues of self-esteem, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress, and the like to help you make better choices. We work our way through layers of your habits and defenses to change your behavior, attitude, and feelings in the life you lead. Of course, we also work with your goals, both therapeutic and life goals. Many tools used in life-coaching are utilized in therapy sessions as well.
However, due to the Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) to which I adhere in Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy, ‘dual relationships’ are not permitted. In the simplest definition possible, ‘dual relationships’ constitute any contact between therapist and client outside the therapy session.
As a life coach with UPositive Life Coaching, I can help you change your life from the outside in. We focus on your goals, creative or otherwise. There are tools and techniques we will utilize to streamline your process of attaining the success you define for yourself. If you need help with a new wardrobe for a new type of career, or need support at your first showcase, I can be a help, just two quick examples of what I could not do as your therapist.
On the other hand, we will not investigate the deeper emotional issues that might have contributed to your previously delayed successes. If these past experiences become obstacles in reaching your goals, I will be able to refer you to a therapist to work through them, to further clear the way so that you can better reach the dreams you have for your life.
All the seminars presented through Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy and UPositive Life Coaching are open to clients of both; however, there may be follow-up groups to some of the life coaching seminars that would not be open to therapy clients, again due to the ethical limitations of that profession.
To sum up: If you have deep emotional scars that need healing, early-life traumas that need clearing, or patterns that have repeated since childhood or adolescence, Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy sessions would be most helpful to you.
If, on the other hand, you are looking for guidance and support in setting, organizing, and achieving your goals, or with balancing your creative and everyday life…UPositive Life Coaching would be your best choice.
It really is: Do you need to work from the inside out (psychotherapy) or the outside in (life coaching). You will experience increased understanding of yourself, improve the quality of your life, and clear your path to success whichever choice is right for you.
Please feel free to post here, or contact me privately at UPositive55@aol.com if you have further questions about this topic.
As a licensed psychotherapist (LCSW), I am well trained to help you explore deep emotional issues, work through relationship problems, and recover from physical/sexual/emotional abuse. My Master’s level education as well as more than 15 years in the field, provides me with the expertise to help you change your life from the inside out.
In Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy sessions we explore the contributing factors to your relationship with the world and the people around you; address issues of self-esteem, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress, and the like to help you make better choices. We work our way through layers of your habits and defenses to change your behavior, attitude, and feelings in the life you lead. Of course, we also work with your goals, both therapeutic and life goals. Many tools used in life-coaching are utilized in therapy sessions as well.
However, due to the Code of Ethics of the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) to which I adhere in Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy, ‘dual relationships’ are not permitted. In the simplest definition possible, ‘dual relationships’ constitute any contact between therapist and client outside the therapy session.
As a life coach with UPositive Life Coaching, I can help you change your life from the outside in. We focus on your goals, creative or otherwise. There are tools and techniques we will utilize to streamline your process of attaining the success you define for yourself. If you need help with a new wardrobe for a new type of career, or need support at your first showcase, I can be a help, just two quick examples of what I could not do as your therapist.
On the other hand, we will not investigate the deeper emotional issues that might have contributed to your previously delayed successes. If these past experiences become obstacles in reaching your goals, I will be able to refer you to a therapist to work through them, to further clear the way so that you can better reach the dreams you have for your life.
All the seminars presented through Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy and UPositive Life Coaching are open to clients of both; however, there may be follow-up groups to some of the life coaching seminars that would not be open to therapy clients, again due to the ethical limitations of that profession.
To sum up: If you have deep emotional scars that need healing, early-life traumas that need clearing, or patterns that have repeated since childhood or adolescence, Passion-for-Life Psychotherapy sessions would be most helpful to you.
If, on the other hand, you are looking for guidance and support in setting, organizing, and achieving your goals, or with balancing your creative and everyday life…UPositive Life Coaching would be your best choice.
It really is: Do you need to work from the inside out (psychotherapy) or the outside in (life coaching). You will experience increased understanding of yourself, improve the quality of your life, and clear your path to success whichever choice is right for you.
Please feel free to post here, or contact me privately at UPositive55@aol.com if you have further questions about this topic.
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